Painful Adjustments
by LoriB
Summary: Sequel to "Tell Me You Will Understand". House and Wilson in new relationship trying to come to terms with "coming out" while dealing with a ghost from House's past. Slash-M/M-don't read if not your thing. Rated T. *CHAPTER 5 1/2 and 10 1/2 RATED M*
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi everyone, here's the first chapter of the sequel to "Tell Me You Will Understand". This picks up four months after the ending of the last story and as I mentioned at the end of the last one, the timeline for Lydia is a bit different than that of the show. For this story, House met Lydia and spent time with her during his first month at Mayfield and then she left town with her family. House was not released for another month after that. I wanted to thank Shadow Cat65 who gave me some general tips on my writing and I tried to implement her suggestions in this chapter (but all mistakes are mine). I know it's a learning process and everything isn't going to be perfect but hopefully you all will enjoy the story even through some of my glaring mistakes. I'm excited about this sequel and the subjects that will be covered. I hope you'll feel the same way. Thanks so much for following and please let me know what you think so far. Thanks so much!_

_Warnings: Slash-House/Wilson established relationship-don't read if not your thing. Spoilers for premier of season six_

_Fic rating: T_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 1**

The morning sun filled the bedroom to announce the arrival of a new day. Wilson felt the welcomed sensation of stubble rake across the sensitive skin on the back of his neck followed immediately by small tender kisses.

"_Hmmm_…you're up early. Special occasion?" Wilson can never get enough of the physical attention that House showers him with on a regular basis. Of course he'll never admit to that. Then again, House would never admit to being so attentive either. Some things between them are better shown than said.

"I need to go to my apartment after work to pick up a few things. Do you want to drive yourself in or still ride with me?"

House skimmed his fingers over the bare skin of Wilson's chest, sending a shiver of pleasure down the younger man's spine.

"Why don't you just move in to my apartment? You're here almost every night anyway and you've already taken over half my closet for your stupid suits since we started this…thing. It's been almost four months, just do it already."

Wilson sat up with his back to House. _So this is how the day was going to start… again_, Wilson thought. The tension evident through the younger man's body did not go unnoticed by House as Wilson spoke.

"We've been through this Greg…If I move in I have to notify the hospital of my address change and people already suspect there's something going on between us."

House let his head fall back against the pillow and let out a loud sigh.

"There _is_ something going on…something great. When are you going to get your head out of your ass and accept that?"

Wilson stood up and headed out of the bedroom with a dismissive wave. "Not a good time House, I have an early meeting …I'm taking a shower."

After House heard the bathroom door close he whispered, "It's never a good time..I'm not doing this forever Jimmy."

The rest of their morning routine was accomplished with very few words exchanged between the two men. The tension had been building at regular intervals for the past month with Wilson insisting that he wasn't ready to come out and House insisting that he'd had enough time to deal. It was clearly evident that they loved each other very much and didn't want to end their relationship but it was only a matter of time before this _one_ issue tore them apart.

"I'll ride the bike today…I could use the fresh air _and_ the stress relief."

Wilson knew the last bit of that comment was directed toward him.

"House it's January, you can't ride the bike…don't be an idiot."

"It may be January but it's sunny, dry, and relatively warm considering the time of year. Besides don't forget, we all have things we can be idiots about."

Wilson gave a mirthless laugh and spun around with his hands on his hips.

"Oh I see, so to pay me back for you not getting your way about coming out to the world you're going to do a stupid and dangerous thing. Yeah, that makes _so_ much sense. Why do I _ever_ expect anything different from you?"

House glared at Wilson, "It's not any more dangerous than riding on a cold spring day. Forget it, I'm not going to defend my actions to you just so you can continue to deflect your aggravation over your insecurities on me!"

Wilson let one hand drop to his side while the other rubbed at the back of his neck. "You're right, I'm trying to start an argument with you over something stupid before you can start one with me over something that's important…." Wilson walked over to where House stood and cupped the back of the older man's neck with both hands. "I'm sorry."

House looked at Wilson; not wanting to let the topic go but seeing the pleading look in his lover's eyes softened his stance for the moment. Wilson leaned in to drop a gentle kiss to House's lips. "Can we talk about this later…maybe after work?"

House put his arms around Wilson's waist and pulled the younger man close to him. "We can't keep putting this conversation off. When I gave in on my conditions at the beginning, you knew it was only temporary. It's been _four_ months."

Wilson spoke soft and neutral as to try and ward off the prospect of another fight. "What difference does it make if people know or not? As long as where together, it doesn't change anything."

"Jimmy, you know it matters to me. You continually push me to make healthier decisions since the breakdown but only if those decisions don't include our relationship. I don't want to keep going like this, and besides how will all of those swooning nurses know you're taken if we don't tell anyone?"

Wilson knew House was insecure and he also knew House had every right to be. After all, Wilson's track record sucked when it came to being faithful and being open about important things in his life. He leaned in again to kiss House before he spoke. "I know it matters to you and that it's important for us to come out. Please…just give me some more time."

House knew Wilson was using the closeness and the kissing as a weapon to get him to cave, and damn if it didn't work every time. "I won't wait much longer, but…I'll give you more time…for now."

Wilson squeezed House's shoulder and pecked him on the cheek. "Thanks Greg."

"Yeah yeah, now it's Greg again when you get your way…I'm still taking the bike today."

Wilson smirked, "Kinda figured…_Greg_."

*****

House really did want to take the bike, he wasn't just using it as a means to piss Wilson off. The freedom the bike afforded him over his mind and body was something he couldn't duplicate with any other activity. Even if it did mean having to ride on a cold January day.

He decided to take the freeway to work instead of the side streets he and Wilson normally used. This allowed him to open up the throttle in order to lose himself in the high of the speed. It was one high he was still allowed to have. It was rides like this that afforded him the opportunity to clear his head and gain a better perspective on things that troubled him in his life….like Wilson.

House found it difficult at times to shake his old habit of being a bastard and just telling Wilson to go fuck himself. If he chose that route however, he'd end up alone again and he had spent too many years that way already. He loved Wilson; he wanted the younger man in his life, but it was becoming more and more difficult to understand him. House started to feel as if it was more than just not wanting to come out because of his professional reputation. Thought that maybe Wilson didn't want people to know because he still wanted to keep his options open with all the women that showered him with attention on a daily basis. Of course, why wouldn't Wilson want those women instead of a middle aged, crippled man; it made sense.

House's frustration over his thoughts just made him drive faster and he found himself doing ninety on the turnpike, luckily no cops were around and he made it to work without any grief or bodily injury.

*****

As House made his way into the hospital he watched from the corner of his eye as Cuddy approached. Trying his best to ignore her, he headed for the elevators with as much quickness as a man with a cane could muster. Of course, it wasn't enough. With false cheer in his voice he greeted her.

"Well good morning and what can I do for you this fine day?"

Cuddy took note of his choice of outerwear.

"Did you ride the bike today?"

"_God_, don't you start too."

Cuddy sensed his bad mood so she took a stab at the problem.

"I saw Wilson this morning…he seemed just as distant as you are pissy. Lover's quarrel?"

"Ya know, for a guy that doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing another guy, he sure found it easy enough to tell you about it. Why _is_ that I wonder?"

"Good thing he did talk to me about it or you wouldn't be with him now."

House just shook his head with amusement.

"Yeah, a lot of good it's doing me….is there something you need or is it just your mission _again_ today to stick your nose where it doesn't belong?"

Cuddy just rolled her eyes. "I have a case for you..it seems interesting."

"You wouldn't know interesting if it bit you in that rotundas ass of yours. Just give me the damn file, I'll be the judge of the interesting factor."

Cuddy handed the file over, with a smirk she stated. "He must _really_ be pissing you off, you're exceptionally grumpy today." She turned on her heels and headed back to her office. House just glared at her while at the same time admiring the view. Just because he's sleeping with a guy doesn't mean he can't enjoy the assets of a beautiful woman.

House entered the conference room where the ducklings were waiting for him.

"Good morning kiddies, daddy came bearing gifts today." He threw the new patient file on the table and removed his leather jacket to hang it on the rack.

Taub spoke as he began to read the file. "You got a phone call this morning…someone named Lydia?"

House froze in his spot for a brief moment but collected himself quickly; not quick enough for it to go unnoticed though. Thirteen spoke this time. "You know her?" House looked at her with his mask back in place.

"Nope, never heard of her."

"Well she left her number, she said she's in town and would like to speak with you…I left the message on your desk. " House rolled his eyes to try and keep up the facade. "Thank you _so_ much for your follow through short man, what would I ever do without you. " He turned toward his office as Foreman spoke. "What about the new patient?"

"It's a boring case; I figured it out in the elevator on the way up here. What _will_ be interesting is to see how long it takes the three of you to figure it out. Now go forth and be productive, I'll be in my office if you need me to bail your asses out." The three employees just gave each other puzzled looks and went about reading the file as House secluded himself.

House sat down at his desk and stared at the yellow sticky note that contained memories of his not so distant past. _Why would she be calling me now? Why is she here?_ He thought. His mind drifted back to six months ago when he first met Lydia. She was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise unbearable place. He remembered the way she looked at him when they talked; how she seemed so peaceful when she played the piano. He couldn't stop his mind from remembering how wonderful she smelled and how soft her body felt when they had sex in that empty office. His thoughts took him to a month into is stay at Mayfield. To how hurt and deserted he felt when she left after he had asked her not to; how nothing that happened between them seemed to mean anything to her.

House snapped himself back to the present; he was _not_ going to call her. He's with Wilson now and it's exactly where he wants to be even _if_ his friend is being an idiot. He decided Wilson was just the distraction he needed at the moment and headed toward the oncologist's office, but not before he tossed the message into the garbage.

House barged into Wilson's office without any regard for the younger man's privacy.

"You up for some breakfast?" Wilson started at the sudden intrusion but secretly was happy to see his friend.

"You didn't eat before you left home?"

"Nope, you wanna go to the cafeteria or not?" Wilson eyed House with suspicion. He seemed a bit short and well just…off.

"Is something wrong?"

"You mean besides my significant other's inability to commit to me out of fear of destroying his persona? Nope…nothing's wrong." House knew it was just a deflection, but he was _not_ ready to share his secret of Lydia with his friend and after all, he was the master of deflection. Of course Wilson was an expert at seeing through House's bullshit.

"Whatever you say House…yeah, I could eat; you're buying."

"That's just great, take advantage of the emotionally scarred cripple."

"You know it." Wilson knew something else was bothering his friend other than himself but he also knew better at this point in their relationship to push it.

"You coming back to my place after you go home tonight?"

"If you want me too. I wasn't so sure, ya know…after this morning."

"Don't be a moron Wilson, just make sure you come baring food."

"I wouldn't dream of stepping foot onto your sacred ground without some sort of edible offering."

"Good, I taught you well." Both men fell into their usual stride as they made their way to the main floor. All seemed well, at least for the moment.

*****

Wilson showed up as planned around seven o'clock with pizza and beer in hand. They spent the evening sitting in their usual places on the couch eating, drinking, and watching the L-Word on Tivo; basically just enjoying each other's company. Nothing more was said of their conversation from that morning and both seemed content to let the subject drop for the moment.

Wilson moved closer to House after they were done eating and placed a hand on the older man's leg. House looked at him suspiciously but didn't say anything. The younger man took the hint that House wasn't too pissed off to accept some physical attention from him.

Wilson moved over and laid a trail of kisses down the side of House's neck just below his ear and was rewarded with an appreciative moan from the older man. "You horny or something?"

"You just look so damn good right now, I couldn't resist."

"_Wow, that_ was a really cheesy line, does that work on the ladies?" Wilson worked his way up House's neck to hover within an inch of his lover's lips.

"Shut up Greg." Wilson attacked House's mouth swiping his tongue over his bottom lip demanding entrance. House allowed it and kissed back with just as much raw passion as he was being presented with.

"_Mmmm_, God I love kissing you."

"You're not so bad yourself." Just as House laid back on the couch to get more comfortable for a heavy make out session, there was a knock at the door. Both men stopped their actions and looked at each other. Wilson was the first to speak.

"Are you expecting someone?" House shook his head.

"Whoever it is, just get rid of them."

"It's your apartment, you should answer."

House gave him an incredulous look. "_Hello_, cripple here."

As Wilson stood up to answer the door, he said, "it's funny how you only pull the cripple card when it's to your advantage." House just smiled at him. "You got it."

Wilson watched as House stood and made his way to the kitchen…_oh, of course he could make it that far_, he thought. The younger man shook his head fondly at House as he opened the door. He turned to see who it was that dared to interrupt their prelude to hot sex and was surprised to see a woman he didn't recognize standing there.

"Can I help you?" The woman seemed confused by Wilson's presence.

"Um…yes, I'm sorry, is Greg House here?" Wilson was taken aback by the woman standing before him. She seemed to know House just by the way she asked for him and she certainly didn't look like a hooker. Wilson shook himself from his thoughts.

"Yeah, ah… I'll get him for you." Just as Wilson was about to head to the kitchen to retrieve House, the man himself hobbled out into the living room.

"Did you get rid of who….." Just then House noticed the door still open and saw the woman standing next to Wilson. The shocked look on House's face did not go unnoticed by Wilson. If the younger man didn't know any better, he would've thought House looked like he'd just seen a ghost. Finally House was able to speak; what he said confirmed that House in fact did know the stranger at his door.

"Lydia"

TBC

_A/N: Lydia's story line going forward may be a bit soapy and if David Shore put it in the show I would have to string him up by his toes. But because this is fanfiction and because I really want to write about it, I'm going to; don't worry, House and Wilson won't be soapy. Thanks so much for reading and PLEASE let me know what you think so far._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hey guys here's part two of "Painful Adjustments". If House seems a little OOC when speaking with Lydia, please remember his interactions with her during the premier. He was a bit softer. I'm not sure if this chapter turned out exactly how I wanted it to but I don't know what I would change so I'm posting and hoping you'll like it. I think it's doing what I intended. Please let me know what you think and thanks so much for reading!_

_SEQUEL TO "TELL ME YOU WILL UNDERSTAND"_

_RATING: T_

_WARNINGS: SLASH-don't read if not your thing, SPOILER SEASON SIX PREMIER_

_DISCLAIMER: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 2**

"Lydia."

Wilson stood frozen to his spot; a wave of dread washed through his body. He wasn't sure why he felt the way he did; after all he had no reason to feel threatened by the woman's presence. There was something however, in the way House's eyes softened as he looked at her that told Wilson there was so much he didn't know.

"Why are you here?" The tone of House's voice was hesitant and shaky; it sounded so foreign to Wilson's ears, like it truly couldn't belong to his friend. Lydia looked between the two men, unsure of what to say or of what she may have interrupted. She could feel the unmistakable tension that filled the room.

"Um…if this isn't a good time, I could come back." Wilson knew he should be polite and excuse himself from the room , or even from the apartment but his curiosity and uneasy feeling kept him in his place. He cleared his throat to pull House from the trance that he found himself in as he stared at the woman before them. It was enough of a distraction to push House to look at him; what he saw in his lover's eyes made his heart sink. He saw fear, surprise, possibly even guilt. _Guilt over what_, Wilson thought.

"No..no it's not a bad time. Uh..this is Wilson, he's my pa…friend; we work together at the hospital." Wilsons eye's grew wide as the slip didn't go unnoticed by him. What exactly was House doing? Did he introduce him like that to protect Wilson because of his feelings regarding coming out? Or was he protecting _himself_? Wilson couldn't help but think it was the latter.

"Please, call me James; it's nice to meet you." Lydia noticed the discomfort in the younger man's stance. The reason for it however, escaped her. "It's nice to meet you too." Wilson couldn't let this go; he needed to know more. "How do the two of you know each other?" Before Lydia could speak, House answered for her. "She had a friend in Mayfield the same time I was there, that's how we met."

"Oh…you never mentioned that." House shot Wilson a warning glare, as if to say 'knock your nosy shit off'. Out loud, he stated with more politeness than Wilson thought House capable. "Wilson…could you please excuse us for a minute?" Wilson was taken aback by House's dismissal of him. "Uh…sure, do you want me to head home?"

House's answer came a little too quick. "_No_…maybe you could go read a journal in the bedroom or something. I just need a few minutes alone with Lydia."

_Alone?,_ Wilson thought. _What would they need to be alone for?_ _And who the hell is this woman?_ Though it upset Wilson to do so, he went to the bedroom. At least he wasn't banished from the apartment, that said something, didn't it?

After House heard the bedroom door close, he asked his initial question again. "Why are you here?"

Lydia slowly approached him and placed her hand on his cheek; rubbing small lines up and down with her thumb.

"I've missed you. I was in town and wanted to see how you've been doing since your release."

House closed his eyes and lost himself in the memory of her soft hands caressing him, of her body wrapped around his. He quickly snapped himself back to reality remembering Wilson in the other room. House gently took hold of Lydia's wrist and pulled her hand from his face. "I'm doing fine…working again; reintegrated back into society." Lydia's face fell a bit from the rejection she felt from House. "That's great! You look good."

"Thanks..I _feel_ good. It seems really weird to say that but…I do." As he said it, House realized the truth of his own words. He _did_ feel good. He was working, head of his own department again, and was with the person that he loved. Even _if_ that person was being an absolute idiot.

"Why are you in New Jersey? I thought you moved out west with your family?" Something in Lydia's demeanor changed at the mention of her family. "Greg, some things have happened and I really would like to sit down and talk with you about them." House motioned to the couch. "Have a seat." Lydia shook her head, "no..I don't want to do it now, well actually I do but your friend's in the other room and it's not fair for him to have to stay in there." House gave a dismissive wave, "don't worry about Wilson, he's used to me being a selfish bastard." Lydia smiled a bit at the softness she saw in House's face. What she didn't realize is that it was just the mention of Wilson's name that caused that look to be etched there.

"Would it be okay if we met for lunch tomorrow? Just the two of us?" House studied her and could see some emotion in her striking features but wasn't quite sure what it was. "Sure, do you know where the hospital is where I work." She nodded. "Good, meet me at my office around noon and we'll find someplace to go and you can tell me what's on your mind."

Just as House finished his thoughts, Wilson emerged from the bedroom. "I'm sorry to interrupt, I decided to just take off for home. I'll be out of here in just a minute. " Lydia spoke up as Wilson was looking for his shoes. "No, you stay. I was just leaving." She walked over to House and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek as she slid her hand down his arm; the physical contact sent a shiver down House's spine. "I'll see you tomorrow..it was nice meeting you James." All House could do was nod his head in affirmation, fully aware of the anguished brown eyes that stared into his own from across the room.

The two men stood in silence for several moments after Lydia made her exit. Wilson tried desperately to rationalize the whole episode that had taken place since the intrusion of the mystery woman. House stayed silent, watching the younger man's face for any inkling of what he may be feeling. House took note of Wilson's defeated look and the sadness that etched across his features. Normally he glowed with a boyish charisma that House secretly couldn't get enough of, but now the spark was absent. The older man knew it was his own actions or inaction that put that look on his friend's face.

"Wilson…?"

Wilson's tone was flat; lacking of any emotion. "Do you care to tell me what the hell that was all about?"

House tried to close the distance between himself and Wilson but the younger man held up his hand to make it clear that the act was unwelcome. House knew he sucked at this part of relationships; he never could be open and comforting. He never could be what Wilson needed him to be at this moment.

"Look, it's nothing. She was just someone I met when I needed a friend, that's all. Don't make a big deal out of it."

Wilson gave a rueful laugh, lacking any hint of humor. To House's ears, it sounded ugly.

"A friend! When you needed a friend? That's just great House. I tried to set up visits with you the whole time you were in that damn place and you wouldn't even approve _one_. You needed a friend? What the fuck was I?"

"Knock it off, you _know_ why I didn't want to see you. I had things I needed to figure out that included _you_! I couldn't handle seeing you. She was a distraction, that's all!"

Wilson felt his emotions bubbling to the surface; he didn't know what to make of anything that House said to him. He couldn't understand why he even felt the need to be angry in the first place. Wilson's tone became meek, almost resigned. "House, if she was just a distraction, then why is she here now? Why did she just kiss you?"

"Some people are like that, you know mushy and shit. I'm not sure why she's here, I'll find that out tomorrow."

Wilson knew House wasn't telling him the whole story but he didn't want an argument until he knew exactly what he was dealing with. He chose his next words carefully. "Greg, I…saw how you looked at her. There's something you're not telling me. She was more than just a distraction, wasn't she?"

House knew Wilson was right. Lydia was more than just a distraction. At one point he had cared for her deeply, though he was never sure why. Maybe it was the fact that she reminded him so much of Wilson or that she was there for him when he was at his lowest point. Either way none of that mattered now and Wilson didn't need to know everything; at least not until she was gone.

"No, she was nothing more." Wilson shook his head in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell her who I was? You made it sound like I was little more than a colleague to you." Now It was House's turn to be in a state of disbelief. "Seriously? You're the one who thinks the world's going to end if people find out you're fucking a guy, but now you're upset because I didn't introduce you to her as my what? Boyfriend?"

"What difference would it have made if she knew. I don't know her and probably will never see her again. What harm would it have done? Or is it that _you_ didn't want her to know you're with _me_?"

"You're unbelievable you know that? And such a damned hypocrite! So as long as it benefits you it's okay for people to know but if it's just because _I_ need you to be open..you won't? What the hell does that say regarding your feelings toward me…toward _us_?"

Wilson watched House go from being mildly amused by the younger man's jealousy to full blown angry. He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "It wasn't my intention to make you think that way. I know you want us to come out to our friends and colleagues and I know that it's important for our future for it to happen but this was different. You were hiding It from her and I'm not quite sure why."

House threw his hands up in frustration and turned away from Wilson's penetrating stare. "I'm not doing this with you. You can accept my explanation and let it go, or you can leave. It's your choice."

Wilson didn't want to leave; their relationship was already on shaky ground and him walking away would solve nothing. He knew House was hiding something but also knew he would get nothing more out of him regarding it until House himself was ready to share. After all, he knew Lydia before they were together as a couple so does it really matter what he was hiding, if anything? Wilson tried to quell his uneasiness with that thought but he couldn't rid his mind of the image he saw on the older man's face when he looked at the woman who turned his night upside down. House looked nervous to see her but in a sense that a teenage boy did when watching his first crush. Something was up and Wilson intended to find out what it was. First, however he needed to make things right between the two of them.

He approached House from behind and put his arms around the older man's waist, standing chest to back. House let his head fall between his shoulder's from exhaustion or defeat; Wilson wasn't sure which, but he didn't try to pull away from the embrace.

"Greg, I know there's more to her story with you but I'm not going to push you on it right now."

"Well _that's_ very unlike you…you push everything." Wilson placed a small kiss to the nape of House's neck, and with a small self-deprecating laugh, "Yeah, well who am I to push you when I have my own issues going on right now."

House's body responded instantly to the feel of Wilson's soft lips. "Yeah, about that…" Wilson slowly turned House around in his embrace as to not disrupt the other man's balance. "Is my issue going to destroy this…what we have?" House looked at him thoughtfully; he loved the man standing before him. There was no doubt of that but the tension that was consuming them as of late had become almost unbearable.

"Jimmy, you need to come to terms with our relationship…you need to find away to accept us before there is no us." Wilson closed his eyes to block out the disappointment and sadness he saw in his lover's eyes. "I know..I…know."

Wilson took House by his hand and silently led him to the bedroom; it was late and he didn't want to fight anymore…they had spent way too much time lately fighting and he just wanted to feel the older man's warm body next to his. He needed to feel the unspoken love from House; it was that very thing that made the relationship worth saving and he needed the reminder of it. House followed without a word.

The two men shed their clothes in silence and made their way to bed. Wilson hesitantly moved closer to House and placed his head on the older man's bare chest. Even though House verbally admonished cuddling, he secretly longed for the tender feeling he received from it. He could feel the tension that radiated through Wilson's body like a live wire so thought better of mocking the younger man's need for the affection; instead, he ran his fingers through his friend's hair in the hopes of calming him. Wilson placed a series of chaste kisses to House's chest.

"Greg, you would tell me if I had something to worry about with Lydia right?" Wilson looked up at House steeling himself for the older man's answer.

"The only thing you need to worry about is getting your head out your ass regarding coming to terms with us." Wilson tried to accept that answer as the only reason for their problems; he knew better. House dipped his head down to meet Wilson's lips in gentle goodnight kiss. "Go to sleep, I'm tired."

"Night Greg."

"Yeah, night Jimmy." House laid there staring at the ceiling as he continued playing with Wilson's hair. He could feel the younger man's breathing even out until he was finally asleep. House wasn't so lucky, he couldn't get his body to give into the tiredness that was overwhelming him; the events of the evening running through his head like a freight train. _Why was Lydia here, what does she want with me; what do I want with her_? _Nothing, I want nothing. I have everything I need already. _

House whispered into the darkness to no one but himself …

"God Jimmy, this would be so much easier if I knew you were actually committed to staying. I love you so damn much but I need you to be certain of what you're doing with me, this isn't a game."

TBC

_A/N: Hope you liked it, let me know what you think. Thanks so much again!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Okay, FINALLY here's chapter 3. It was a labor of love because my muse was a bitch this last week or so. I hope it turned out alright and that you enjoy it. Okay when you get to the end; before you decide to send out a lynch mob to my house, go back to the beginning and read that part again first to calm you down. This chapter is where Lydia's story line picks up on the bit of soapy warning I gave earlier. I really hope you'll give it a chance to see where it goes. Okay enough begging for your forgiveness upfront. Read it and then please__ let me know what you think. Thanks_

_Fic rating: T to light M on this chapter for some smut light stuff_

_Fic warning: Slash-don't read if not your thing_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 3**

House rolled over and blindly searched for the comfortably warm body that normally occupied the space beside him. What he found instead were cooling sheets that signified his lover's recent retreat. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and took a moment to gather his bearings before attempting to rise.

Since House's detox from Vicodin, he'd been on various regimens to try and counter his unrelenting pain. None, however, had been nearly as successful as the little white pills that were his lone companion for so many years. With a sigh and resignation to the inevitable mind numbing jabs he was certain to feel, he rose to consume the meds from his current useless regimen. While he sat on the side of the bed waiting for the pain to recede to a tolerable level, he heard Wilson moving about in the shower. He decided that surprising the younger man and giving him a bit of attention would be a welcome distraction from the uncertainty that their future together had become.

House quietly entered the bathroom, gently pulled back the curtain, and climbed into the tub behind Wilson. He wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist causing Wilson to start in surprise. He quickly recovered and turned in the older man's arms to gently kiss House.

"Well this is an unexpected surprise."

House gave Wilson a puzzled look. "Why would you say it's unexpected?"

"Things haven't exactly been…great between us. I just thought…" House cut his words off with a deep, searching kiss. Wilson put his hand to the back of House's neck to pull him in closer; to be comforted by the radiating heat of his lover.

"_Mmmm_, that's your problem…you think too damn much." Wilson gave House a coy look; a look that was sure to dial up House's desires. "I'd be more than willing to explore different ways to keep my mind occupied."

House nipped behind Wilson's ear as he ran his hands down the younger man's back to cup and massage his ass. "You _are_ a slut aren't you?" Wilson drew in a gasp when House caressed him, his voice breathless and just above a whisper; "_Oh_ _God_, only for you." House dipped down to capture Wilson's lips. "And don't you forget it."

House took Wilson into his hand and gave him slow loose strokes causing the younger man to moan in pleasure of the attention his lover showed him. "_Ah_…Greg, feels so good."

House continued the ministrations with his hand while he placed soft kisses from the crook of Wilson's neck down his chest over a sensitive nipple. "I plan on making you feel even better." Wilson tipped his head back and whimpered from the sparks that House sent through his body.

"_Ohhh_…why..a..all the attention, _ahhh_…?" House stopped all of his actions and gave Wilson a look that sent shivers down his spine. Wilson couldn't recall having seen that look in the past. It was determined, yet soft and open; the intensity in the older man's eyes told of the love he felt for the man that stood before him. "I don't want you to think that I don't care about you anymore. I know we're having problems Jimmy but I still need you…_want _you." Wilson's eyes softened and he cupped House's face. "I'll figure this out, just be patient…please?" House ran his hands down Wilson flanks with his mouth following behind, nipping a trail on his way down. "No more talking, I have other plans for this big fat mouth of mine."

The tone of House's voice along with the words he spoke caused Wilson's blood flow to shift south leaving him light headed as he watched House gingerly lower himself onto his knees. Wilson felt a pang of guilt over House's leg but his arousal was too far advanced to make a coherent decision to stop him. Just the sight of his lover on his knees was enough to make him want to explode.

House used his lips and teeth to tease at Wilson's waist line before fully taking him into his mouth. The action caused Wilson to grip at House's hair and rise onto the balls of his feet in pure ecstasy. "_Oh my God_…I love your oral _ahhh_…fixation." House chuckled at Wilson's comment causing vibrations in his throat that sent the younger man to the brink. With a steady pace and well placed use of his tongue, House felt Wilson's body tense and then he spilled over the edge. House happily kept up his actions as he rode through Wilson's explosion with him.

Wilson felt his body go weak as his release hit the final plateau; he held tight to House's head to keep himself from toppling over onto his lover. "You are so fucking good, you know that?" House slowly rose to his feet, forcefully pressing his lips to the younger man producing a thorough, passionate kiss. "_Mmmm_, I try."

Wilson encircled House's waist and lazily placed his head on the older man's shoulder. "Something I can do for you?" Wilson was a bit surprised by House's answer. "No, I'm okay…just wanted to make you feel good."

"That's very unselfish of you." House rubbed small circles on Wilson's back. "It's been known to happen from time to time. Come on, waters getting cold and you're going to be late." As House attempted to exit the shower, Wilson tugged his arm gently to get him to look back again. "Greg?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you right?"

"Don't get all sappy on me. We're alright….for now." With that, House left Wilson standing in the shower. Wilson didn't miss the note of warning in House's voice but tried to push it aside while he replayed the events of a few moments before. It was times like those that made Wilson think that with a little effort, they could truly make it work.

Wilson finished his morning routine and found House in the kitchen as he sipped his morning coffee.

"You want to ride in with me today? Maybe we can go out for a decent dinner after work."

House looked at him as if Wilson was a specimen to be studied. It really messed with Wilson's head when he did that. "No, I'll drive myself. Lydia's meeting me for lunch today and I'm not sure if I'll need my car."

Wilson had all but forgotten about the mystery woman from the night before after their little romp in the shower. "Oh..okay. Well maybe we can still catch dinner anyway; we'll just drive separate that's all."

House noticed the hurt in Wilson's voice. "Don't go getting all jealous on me, that's my job remember?"

"I'm not jealous. I just know there are some things you're not telling me. I don't like your evasiveness, that's all."

House groaned in frustration. "I'm not going through this again with you. Just drop it okay?"

Wilson didn't want to drop it but he didn't want to fight either. He figured after this lunch, Lydia would be on her way back to wherever she came from and things would go back to normal.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'll drop it; I don't want to fight either." House looked at Wilson skeptically. He knew Wilson never let things go, but he didn't voice his thoughts out loud. "I'm taking off; I'll stop by your office before I head out with Lydia."

Wilson spoke with a false sense of cheer. "Sure, sounds good." He stepped forward and gave House a quick peck on the lips. Any physical contact they shared was generally for the purpose of sexual gratification so instances like goodbye kisses were still quite awkward.

House returned the kiss and turned away quickly. "Ah, okay…see ya Wilson."

"Yeah. Bye House."

*****

House worked in the clinic during the morning hours due to the fact that the patient from the day before had been quickly diagnosed and set on the path to recovery. Though House admittedly hated doing hours in the clinic; he actually welcomed the distraction this day. It allowed him to not focus on his problems with Wilson or his pending lunch with Lydia. House would not admit it to Wilson, but it bothered him that Lydia had shown up and he really had no idea as to what brought her there.

Eleven thirty rolled around quickly and House made his way back to the fourth floor to stop as he promised to Wilson's office. Wilson had a light patient morning so when House arrived he was busy catching up on paperwork that he allowed to pile up over the past week.

"Hey."

"Hey House, what's up?" House took a seat across from Wilson's desk. "Told you I'd stop by before I headed out with Lydia."

" Oh, when you leaving?"

"She'll be here around noon, not sure where were going yet. Do you want me to bring you back anything?"

Though the conversation seemed to be normal enough, Wilson could feel the tension thick in the air.

"No, I'm good. I'll just pick up something in the cafeteria and eat while I finish this paperwork."

House paused for a moment and looked as if he was about to say something important but settled on, "kay. I'll see ya later then."

"Okay." Wilson watched House leave his office and felt a wave of dread wash over him. Something just happened between them and he wasn't sure what it was. He was sure however, that it wasn't something good. He let out a tired sigh and shook his head of the thoughts. Whatever it was, he figured it would come out in due time.

*****

Lydia showed up around noon as expected and at House's suggestion they made their way to a little Greek restaurant around the corner from the hospital. Because it was close and a relatively tranquil day, they decided to walk instead of fighting with the lunch crowd parking.

Lydia was nervous; House could see it in her features and the tautness of her shoulders. "You look really great Greg. It looks like your recovery is going well." House studied her, to see if he could acquire any hints as to her presence. "Thanks, you look good too."

"So, how have you been?"

House wasn't looking to play this game. He knew she came for a reason and he wasn't about to sit through the small talk to find out why. "Why are you here? What is it that you want?" _Better question, what is it that I want?_ He asked himself.

"I came back to live in the house we left behind, at least until I can sell it." House studied her expression; there was more to this story.

"Where's your family? Are they here too?"

Lydia lowered her gaze to her hands resting on the table. House watched the sadness wash over her features. "My son's doing an exchange program through his school and is staying with family members back in Germany. He's there to learn some things about his heritage and it was a great educational opportunity for him."

"What about your husband?" Lydia looked up, meeting House's eyes. "He left me."

House was stunned. This was _not_ what he had expected when she showed up on his doorstep the night before. Was she there to pick up where they left off all those months ago? Is that what she was expecting? What about Wilson?

"Why come to me? I'm sure there are people that have more meaning in your life for you to turn to. What do you want with me?"

"It's complicated. I wasn't going to come to you. I didn't want to disrupt your life, especially with your recovery still so fresh. I don't even know if you're seeing anyone."

"Why did your husband leave you Lydia? Did he find out about us?" Lydia gave a small ironic laugh. "You could say that." House was now studying her like a puzzle. There was something else; something she wasn't saying.

"How did he find out?"

"Greg, _are_ you seeing anyone?"

"Don't change the subject and answer my question." Lydia paused for a moment before answering with a cautious voice.

"Answer _my_ question first and then I'll answer yours." House really wasn't in the mood for this game but he was willing, for the moment to play along.

"Yes, I'm not sure where it's going at the moment…but yes." Lydia bowed her head as if House's words burned a hole into her soul. "Lucky woman."

House wanted to correct her assumptions, he really did, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not because he was ashamed of the fact that he was with a man but he didn't want to hurt her. What does that say about House's feelings toward Wilson or toward Lydia for that matter? _What the hell is going on? I love Wilson more than I've ever loved anyone, it's just her presence and his lack of commitment that's stirring up these emotions._

"Answer my question now. How did your husband find out about us?"

Lydia stirred in her seat, obviously afraid to say what it was that House was waiting to hear. In a nervous gesture, she pulled her coat tighter around herself_. Why hasn't she taken that stupid thing off yet, it's not exactly cold in here._

"Lydia, just answer me, you came here for a reason. Either you came here to try and start a relationship with me or you came here for something else. Which is it?"

Lydia focused her eyes straight into House's and spoke clearly as to make sure he didn't misunderstand what she was about to say.

"I'm pregnant."

_That,_ _I did _not_ see coming._

**TBC**

_A/N: Okay, please tell me what you think. Just remember, I'm a delicate flower and will wilt if you're too cruel. Thanks so much for reading!_

_Also: This would make Lydia about 4 and a half to 5 mos pregnant. When I was that far along I didn't really show much so I thought it would be easy for her to hide behind a winter jacket considering it's January in the story (even from House). Thanks_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: You guys are just awesome. Between Livejournal and here, I received more reviews on chapter 3 of this story than any other chapter or one shot I've written. THANKS SO MUCH!! So what this tells me is that even if you're not entirely happy with the Lydia story line at least you're interested. I hope I don't disappoint. Now that I'm past the big soapy cliché reveal, I hope to explore the impact in a very realistic and interesting manner. I want to explore the effect it will have on House and Wilson individually as well as a couple. Thanks to all who commented, I tried to return everyone's comment except those who didn't sign in here. To those; thanks so much!! Because you guys have been so awesome, it prompted me to write this chapter faster and with great enthusiasm. So here you go and hopefully you'll enjoy it. Please let me know what you think. Thanks again!!!_

_Fic rating: T _

_Fic warning: Slash-don't read if not your thing, spoiler for season six premier_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 4**

"Please say something."

"_So,_ I was thinking Lou for a boy. You know, short for loony; as in conceived in the loony bin. What do ya think?"

"Greg…"

House was quickly becoming angry, though he wasn't sure at who or what. "What? What do you want me to say Lydia? I assume you're telling me this because you believe it's mine."

Lydia knew that this news would be a shock to House and didn't want to make it worse by arguing with him. That wasn't the reason she told him. She kept her voice calm and quiet, "Greg, I know it's yours. My husband was out of town the entire month that I visited you at Mayfield; the month I conceived."

"So, this is why your husband left you. You couldn't even pretend to him that it was his. Obviously he wasn't a complete moron because he can do basic math."

Lydia tried to reach her hand across the table to place it on top of House's as a means of calming him down. He pulled away just before she touched. "Don't." House couldn't miss the hurt that crossed her features and _did_ calm a bit at that. "Look, this is just a bit of a shock to me. I need some time to digest this."

"I understand. Greg, I'm sorry to bring you into this. I know this isn't something you need right now but I felt we connected during the time we spent together and I was hoping you'd want to be a part of this; a part of us."

House felt his emotions run the entire gamut from hurt, betrayed to unsure and then needed. He looked at Lydia, and for a moment he remembered what attracted him to her in the first place: Wilson. What would he tell Wilson? Would he accept this? Would he use it as an excuse to not come out and just end their relationship? Would Lydia understand his relationship with Wilson? Would he want to be with Lydia if Wilson left him? Would she want to be with him? Does he _want_ to be a father? The confusion was making House feel a bit nauseous.

"I gotta go. Give me your number and I'll call you in a day or two after I've had some time to process this." Lydia looked at him thoughtfully as he wrestled to keep his emotions in check. "Okay." She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "I'm really sorry about this, I didn't intend for this to happen. I know that's no excuse and I should have never been so naïve for a woman of my age. I _am_ sorry."

House looked into her eyes and spoke with a calm chill to his voice. "It takes two, right?"

*****

An hour later House found himself sitting in his office with his back to the door. He was staring out onto the balcony playing absentmindedly with the scruff on his chin. Wilson entered the diagnostician's office unnoticed and for a moment, took in the sight of the sullen man before him.

"Hey House." House started at the unexpected voice behind him. Wilson thought that odd considering at times House seemed to have eyes in the back of his head. House spun in his chair to face his visitor.

"Hey."

"How was lunch?" Wilson tried to keep a casual tone as to not repeat the fight from the night before.

"Fine…was there something you needed?" House's curt response sent alarm bells ringing in Wilson's mind. "Noooo…is something wrong?"

"I'm fine, Cuddy left some potential cases on my desk for review; I'm busy." Wilson eyed him suspiciously. "You were just staring out the window; you didn't look all that busy a minute ago."

Frustrated House responded, "What is with you? Just give me a break okay?" Wilson was taken aback and his own temper was threatening to bubble to the surface. "No House, what the hell is with you? You go to lunch with this woman that I didn't even know existed until last night. You don't give me the whole story of your history with her and now you're trying to avoid me. I don't know what happened at lunch and it's quite obvious you're not going to tell me, but you don't need to be such a dick to me because of it." Wilson turned to leave; speaking back over his shoulder, "when you can get your head of your ass, you know where to find me."

House just stared blankly at Wilson's retreating form; stunned into silence from the younger man's outburst. Of course as stubborn as House liked to be, he knew Wilson was right. He was being a jerk to Wilson just so he wouldn't have to be around him. If he's around him than Wilson would know something was terribly wrong. House realized he was acting just like he always suspected Wilson would if he were having an affair. He tried to rationalize that it wasn't an affair; he and Wilson weren't even together at the time. _Then why do I feel so damn guilty?_

With a heavy sigh, House pulled himself to unsteady feet and made his way to Wilson's office over the balcony wall. As he entered the office, Wilson looked up from his task at hand to study the older man and then went back to his work, presumably un-phased by House's presence.

"What do you want House?" House turned his back to Wilson, placed his hands on the balcony door as he dropped his head. Wilson looked at his friend and noted the defeated pose that House had taken on. Something had to be wrong for House to allow Wilson to see such unguarded emotion. House's words, which were just above a whisper, pulled Wilson from his thoughts.

"Lydia's pregnant." Wilson was confused, why would something like that matter to House.

"What does that have to do with you?" House turned around and met Wilson's eyes with a silent plea. The younger man studied him for a moment when realization dawned.

"It's yours." Spoken as a statement, not a question; in a stern voice that hid his true fear, Wilson continued. "You cheated. You've been driving me crazy since we got together about how sure you were that I'd eventually cheat. You're a hypocrite." Wilson practically spat the last words.

"I didn't cheat." Wilson had no desire to hear any of his excuses. For God's sake, he invented most of them. "Save it House. You said you met her while you were in Mayfield and we got together right after you were released. If she's pregnant now than you had to have cheated. Just get out of here; I've got work to do."

House gained strength to his voice. Though he felt guilty as hell, he knew he didn't betray his partner. "Wilson, I didn't cheat. We had sex while I was in Mayfield, about five months ago." Wilson shook his head. He couldn't believe that House was trying to go with _that_ story. Wilson gave House an incredulous look.

"You expect me to _believe_ that you had sex with a visitor while you were a patient in a mental hospital? Wh…what? Was it part of physical therapy? If so, admit me…please." The mirthless laugh that escaped Wilson's lips felt like nails in House's scull. He couldn't blame Wilson for not believing him, it sounded ridiculous to his _own_ ears.

Wilson sat back in his chair and placed his face into his hands. "I thought you've changed, but you're still the same selfish son of a bitch that doesn't care about anyone but himself. Just get out; I don't wanna see you right now."

The words tore through House's total being. He had worked so hard over the past few months to try and show him that he _could_ change, at least for Wilson if not so much for himself. For Wilson to now throw it back in his face was painful to say the least. _Maybe he's right; I've been such a bastard for most of our friendship, maybe he can't believe that I love him enough to change_. Resigned to the fact that Wilson would listen to no more, he silently exited the way he came in.

House went back to his office with the sole purpose of gathering his back pack and getting the hell out of Dodge. Between Lydia and Wilson, he felt beaten down. Not that he could truly blame Wilson for his lack of understanding, or Lydia…well he could only _partially_ blame her for getting pregnant. After all he was there too. He was a willing participant and went ahead without any consideration for birth control. Wilson was right about one thing. House _was_ a hypocrite. Not for cheating because he didn't, but for having 'sex while stupid'; a phrase he, himself coined. _God, the irony, all those clinic patients would be laughing their asses off at me right now, wouldn't they?_

The team was in the conference room writing up their last case file for Cuddy when House entered with his belongings. Foreman was the one to speak. "Going somewhere? It's only two o'clock." House feigned surprise. "Really? Wow, I knew there was a reason I hired you. You are _so_ observant."

"Yeah yeah, we're you going?"

"I'm leaving, tell Cuddy the cases she left on my desk were crap and that any moron fresh out of med school could solve them. Do whatever, I'll see ya tomorrow."

The senior doctor of the team looked at House suspiciously. Things had been different for House lately. Dare he say; House seemed almost…happy, well at least as happy as House could get. Not to mention, he and Wilson seemed to be getting along better than ever. Though now, Foreman noted the distance and sadness in his boss's eyes that he hadn't seen since before going to Mayfield. He made a mental note to keep an eye open for any suspicious behavior. "Yeah, see ya House."

House had made it to the main lobby and was within fifty feet of making his escape when Cuddy swooped in beside him. _How the hell does she always do that? Did she implant a tracking device on me or something?_

"What do you think _you're_ doing?"

"I'm dancing, what does it look like?" Cuddy studied House's expression as she walked beside him.

"Are you and Wilson fighting again?" House stopped and turned to get into her face. "Why do you care? What the hell difference does it make to _you_ if Wilson and I are fighting?" Cuddy took a step back to put some distance between herself and her employee. "Whether you want to believe it or not, you're my friend House and I'm concerned for you. The same goes for Wilson." House could see the genuine concern in her face but just turned to start walking toward the door again. "I'm not feeling well. I'm taking the rest of the day off; the team can contact me if a case comes in." With that, House exited the hospital. Cuddy watched him leave with a shake of her head and returned to her own office.

_Someday he's going to realize that people actually care about him._

*****

Wilson remained in his office the rest of the afternoon. He only had one actual appointment but had his assistant reschedule it for the next day. His mind was far from work but was determined to finish up the last file in front of him before heading back to his lonely apartment. As much as he hated being alone, especially since he and House took their relationship to a new level, he was adamant about _not_ going to House's place after what transpired that afternoon. A knock at the door brought Wilson out of his thoughts.

"Door's open." Foreman entered the oncologist's office upon hearing that. Wilson put on his happy face; after all House always said he was all persona. "What can I do for you Doctor Foreman?"

"Have you talked to House at all this afternoon?" Wilson felt a bit put upon. "Not since about one thirty, if you don't know where he is look in coma guy's room." Foreman sensed the tension the other doctor was putting off. "Actually he left for the day around two, I was just wondering if he told you why? He seemed….off." This took Wilson off guard. Yes he was mad as hell at House but that doesn't mean he didn't worry about the man. "What do you mean, off?"

"I don't think I've seen him look as…lost for lack of a better word as he did when he walked out of the door earlier. I thought maybe you knew why." Wilson, of course knew part of the reason but wasn't willing to share that with House's employee. "No, I don't know what's wrong with him. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not his keeper." Foreman was put off by Wilson's coolness but let it lay. "Okay…thank you Doctor Wilson. Have a good night."

"No problem; you do the same."

_I'm not going to fall into his trap. I'm not going to go running after him just because someone thought he looked upset. He did this to himself. I'm _not_ going to pick up the pieces this time!_

Wilson tried to focus his attention back onto the file that was in front of him. House cheated on him. That's all Wilson could think about. After all the lines of crap that House fed to him about coming out and being faithful, the bastard went and cheated on _him_.

_Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe it _did_ happen while he was in Mayfield. No, no…that's not possible. How could a psychiatric patient have the freedom to have sex without anyone noticing? And if he did have sex while he was a patient, what was his mental status at the time? No, he had to have cheated. It's the only explanation that makes any sense. He's just lying to me._

"Damn it! I have to talk to him."

Against his better judgment, Wilson gathered his belongings, secured his office, and headed to the one place he was determined to avoid: House's apartment.

_I'll give him _one_ chance to explain and it better be damn convincing or he can kiss this relationship goodbye!_

**TBC**

_A/N: Well there you go. I really hoped you liked this chapter and would LOVE to hear what you think. Please comment and let me know. Thanks so much for reading!!!!_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/n: Here's the next chapter of "Painful Adjustments". I'm for warning you that I'm sick with the flu and I wrote this under a sick and drugged pretense. I really hope it turned out okay but will not hesitate to use my illness as an excuse if it's crap ;) Thanks to everyone who continues to read and comment; I really appreciate it. Thanks so much and let me know what you think!!_

_Fic rating: T _

_Fic warning: Slash-don't read if not your thing, spoiler for season six premier_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 5**

After his discussion with Cuddy in the lobby, House decided he'd had enough. Between the blow Lydia delivered, Wilson's unwillingness to see the truth, and his boss's misplaced concern, he needed to either find the nearest bar and get undeniably shit faced or…talk to someone. He smirked in disbelief when he realized he'd rather cry on a shrink's shoulder than bury his problems at the bottom of a bottle; whether that bottle contained pills or alcohol. _Huh, maybe I've learned a little something after all, who would've thought._

House could very easily have gone back up stairs to see Doctor Hudson but decided against it. He had been able to build a decent rapport with his local shrink since his discharge but always felt uncomfortable talking with him about Wilson considering the oncologist was Hudson's colleague as well. Discussing Wilson's desire to keep their relationship a secret was bad enough; House certainly had no desire to delve into the Lydia situation with him on top of it. Well, that really only left one option. Good ole Doctor Payne in the ass from Mayfield. House figured at least she knew who Lydia was and also has no connection to Wilson; win win in his book.

"Hey Doctor Payne, it's House…Greg House."

"_Hello Greg, I haven't heard from you in a while, how are things going?" _

House climbed into his car and set himself in the direction of Mayfield. "I was wondering if you had some free time this afternoon, ya know for a former crazy like me?"

The concern was palpable in Doctor Payne's voice. _"Greg, are you okay? Where's Doctor Hudson?"_

House rolled his eyes in impatience. "Hudson's still around but I don't want to talk to him about…this. Do you have an opening today or not?"

"_Yes, of course. I have a free hour at four, can you be here by then."_

"Yup, see you in couple of hours doc."

House spent the two hours that followed on the road traveling back to the place he swore he'd never step foot in again. It saddened him to realize that as his life began to unravel for the second time in half a year that the journey back would be taken alone.

When he finally reached the rustic gates that overlooked his former home; House felt the breath catch in his throat. He realized it was just a physical reaction to the fear of returning, but that knowledge didn't help to ease the horrifying feeling that rushed through his body.

Doctor Payne was waiting for him just inside the entrance when House arrived. "It's good to see you Greg. Shall we go to my office?"

House looked around; taking in the familiar sounds and scents of the place he called home for two months of his life. "Yeah…sounds good."

"What's on your mind Greg?"

House looked at the doctor skeptically, "what, no why are you here? Why me and not Hudson?"

Doctor Payne just flashed one of her warm tolerant smiles. "I figured you had your reasons; you said as much on the phone. Greg, obviously it's important to you or you wouldn't have made the drive here. _What_ can I help you with?"

House sank down into his chair and let out a heavy sigh. "Everything's falling apart again. I'm afraid I'm going to lose control if I don't figure this out."

"Why don't we start from the beginning; how is everything going with James? The last I heard, he had accepted your feelings toward him. Are you and he in a relationship now?"

"I was an idiot. I gave in on my condition for him because I was afraid he'd walk away."

Doctor Payne studied the defeated look on her former patient's face. He looked tired and withdrawn; almost as if he'd been through a major mental battle before finding his way to her.

"What condition did you let go of?"

"We've been together for about four months but he still won't let anyone know about our relationship; he's ashamed of it."

"I see." House gave her an irritated look. "I see? What the hell is that supposed to mean? If you got something to say, just say it."

"I'm not here to tell you what to do; I'm here to listen to how you feel. How does it make you feel knowing that he doesn't want to acknowledge publicly that you're his significant other?"

Frustration was building as House realized he was still very upset with Wilson about the coming out issue and they hadn't even gotten to Lydia yet. "I don't know. Angry, I guess. Like maybe he's not all that committed to me if he can't admit that I'm who he wants to be with."

"What does he tell you the reason is?"

"He's afraid of hurting his family…his reputation." Doctor Payne looked thoughtful. "Those seem like reasonable fears. You don't believe them to be the true reasons?"

"I'm sure they play a part in it, but no, I don't think they are the true reasons. It's all a moot point now anyway."

"Why's that?" There it was; the question to open up the big ass can of worms that brought him here.

"Do you remember Lydia…Silent Girl's sister in law? She visited for awhile and then moved to Arizona."

Doctor Payne had no idea where this was going but was interested none the less. "Yes, I remember her. The two of you seemed to get along quite well when she visited."

House scanned the room as if to hide embarrassment for some unknown event. "Yeah, about that; she showed up at my door last night. She's….pregnant; about five months pregnant, so she tells me."

"Ok Greg, you lost me here. What does this have to do with you and James?"

House began to rub his thigh trying to relieve the sudden flair up of pain. "Lydia and I kinda….had sex while I was a patient here. She says it's mine."

To say Doctor Payne looked shocked or horrified at that revelation was a bit of an understatement. She now had to reconcile that a patient under her direct care with attachment issues managed to sneak away from supervision long enough to get it on without anyone on staff knowing what had occurred. That was the least of the problems at hand. Dealing with the emotions and lives affected by such an act are priority.

"Greg, when did this happen? _How_ did this happen?" House sensed her discomfort. "Don't beat yourself up over it. I've been manipulating the best of them for all long time. Long before I ever knew you."

"Your recovery was _my_ priority and I failed you. I'm sorry." House just rolled his eyes at what he felt was the absurdity of her statement. "Knock it off, I'm a big boy and made the decision for myself…"

"A decision you may not have been ready or prepared to make."

House was now pissed. "Knock it the _fuck off_. I had sex with her, now she's pregnant. I don't know if I can be a father. Not to mention my partner, who was my best and _only_ friend doesn't want to come out of the closet and now to make things even more interesting, he thinks I cheated on him. So _please_, stop with what may or may not have been relevant five months ago and _help me_ now!"

House was right; they had to deal with the consequences of those actions now. "Why does James think you cheated on him?"

House let out a humorless laugh. "He doesn't believe that I would've been able to get a little somethin' somethin' while I was locked up. You _think_ he'd know me better by now."

"Surely he must know that a simple sonogram could date the pregnancy; he's a doctor after all."

"I think he let his emotions get in the way of rational thinking earlier. He didn't know anything about Lydia and I until today."

Doctor Payne took a deep breath and resigned herself to sticking with House through this; she felt she owed it to him. "Okay, I can understand why you came to me instead of seeing Doctor Hudson. I want to help you work through this. How do you feel about the pregnancy? Do you have any doubt that it might not be yours?"

House nodded. "Of course I have some doubt, that's just human nature, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's a logical feeling for you to have; though you seem doubtful that she would be deceiving you. Tell me why."

House fidgeted in his seat for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with what he was about to say. "I've always tried to base decisions I've made on logic, but when it comes to Lydia that just gets thrown out the window. When we first met, I was drawn to her for reasons that don't make sense. She was there for me when I needed her. I really don't think she would lie to me about this, which is ironic because my world view is that everybody lies. She knows that I'm a doctor though and would have all the necessary tests done to verify. I can't see any reason for her to try and deceive me."

"How does this affect your feelings toward James?"

House straightened up and took on his most confident pose since his arrival. "It doesn't. I love him…need him. The problem is…I don't know if he needs me."

"Are you thinking of leaving James for Lydia?"

"The questions is, will he leave me _because_ of Lydia, or because he doesn't want to ever come out, or because I'm an idiot. You pick, it could be for any number of reasons."

"Greg, that's not what I asked you. Do you want to be with Lydia?" House again slouched down, wrapping his arms around his torso as if trying to protect himself from some outside evil.

"I don't _want_ to lose Wilson, but I don't know how much longer I can go on not knowing if he is serious about our relationship. As for Lydia, would I leave him for her? No, but if he and I didn't work out, than I…don't know. Maybe I'd give it a try."

"What about the baby, how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know yet…it's only been a few hours. Really hasn't sunk in yet. I think I would be a shitty father though."

"Why would you say that?"

House turned away to focus his gaze at a picture on the far wall. "Because I don't know what a good father is like. I wouldn't know what to do."

"Babies don't come with instruction books, I'm sure you'd do fine if given the chance."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it."

"Does James want children?"

Frustration was starting to rear again in House. "I don't know; we never talked about. What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"If the two of you stay together, this will affect him as well. You will need to have this discussion with him."

House was growing frustrated with the session and decided it was time to cut it off. "Yeah, well as of right now he's not even talking to me. As insightful as it's been, I gotta get out of here before they decide to check me in."

Doctor Payne got up from her chair to walk House to the door. "Greg, keep the lines of communication open with James. It sounds like you really want to make it work with him. Just keep letting him know this, I think he'll come around. As for Lydia and the baby, take your time and figure out what role you want and need to play in this. You still have your mental health to be concerned about. I would like you to come back here again next week. Can you do that?"

As much as House hated sharing parts of himself, he knew it was more helpful than trying to deal with it alone. Left to his own devices, he might be dead in a week. "Yeah, I can do that. I'll call you."

"Contact me anytime you need to talk. I'm here."

"Thanks."

*****

House made his way back to his apartment more confused than he'd been when he left the appointment. The two hour drive was not a good thing when the only way to pass the time was to think. He still had no idea how he felt about Lydia being pregnant. One minute, he's scared shitless and the next, dare he say…almost excited. But his thoughts always came back to Wilson. What was going to happen between them? They're already on shaky ground and the pregnancy news was just one more thing to add to the top of the suffocating pile that had become their relationship.

_God, I don't want to lose him but what the hell more can I do? How can I make him understand my needs while at the same time asking him to accept the pregnancy? Man I'm so fucked._

Deep in thought, House made his way up to the door and entered his apartment. He was surprised to see Wilson leaning against the arm of the couch, presumably waiting for him to return.

"What are you doing here? You made it pretty clear earlier you didn't want to see me."

Wilson stood up and grabbed at the well worn spot on the back of his neck. Always a sure sign as to how confused or worried Wilson was at any given time. "Were have you been? Foreman told me you left the hospital around two."

House removed his jacket and threw it on the couch behind Wilson. "What? You think I was out fucking around? Yep, you caught me."

Wilson stood straight up, jutted his chin in defiance. "I don't know, where you?" House rounded the couch and took a seat to alleviate the pressure on his pained limb. "Don't be such an idiot Wilson. I'm not the one with fidelity issues. I didn't cheat on you with Lydia."

Wilson took a seat in the chair next to the couch. "I find it hard to believe your story House. It doesn't make any sense. "

"Well, I really don't know what you want me to say then." Wilson kept his patience in check and leaned forward with his hands clasped together. "Tell me the story; tell me how the two of you met and found a way to become pregnant."

House really didn't feel like rehashing the story but he felt he owed it to the younger man to offer up some sort of explanation. "There was another inmate that didn't speak. Lydia is her sister in law. I came in one day from the yard and she was playing the piano for her; trying to reach her with music and all that. I don't know, I seemed… drawn to her for some reason. After I got to know her a bit, I realized she reminded me a lot of you."

Despite Wilson's desire to remain angry, he was a bit intrigued by the story. "Of me? In what ways?"

House looked thoughtfully at Wilson, as if he were reflecting on the most precious thing in his life. "She had this need to stick by her friend which also happened to be her sister in law. She was there for her no matter what, kinda like you are with me. She was also an enabler. She allowed me to steal her car one day and didn't think twice about it. She seemed to have no problems with infidelity, also a lovely Wilson trait. She had this way of caring that was suffocating yet comforting at the same time. And she even kinda looks like you."

Wilson was shocked. House never spoke so many words about anyone, and to give so much detail in his Lydia/Wilson comparison was both flattering and scary. "Wow. If she reminded you so much of me, than why go for her instead of calling me?"

"I wasn't ready to see you. I still wasn't sure I wanted to share my feelings for you at that point and I was afraid of losing you if I did. She made me feel good. I don't know what else to say about it."

Wilson was afraid to ask his next question. "Do you love her?"

"I thought I did, until I realized it was actually you I wanted. I can't say I don't care for her though."

"House…._Greg_, did you actually sleep with her while you were in Mayfield? I need the truth."

House looked straight into Wilson's eyes. "Yes, I did _not_ fuck around."

Wilson was still a bit hesitant to believe everything that House was telling him; his choices were to continue to fight about it or believe him until he had some proof otherwise. He felt that House was telling him the truth but that didn't stop him from being upset by the situation.

"How do you feel about this?" House didn't want to reiterate everything that he'd gone over with Doctor Payne. He knew it would have to be done with Wilson but he was tired and didn't want to do it now.

"Wilson, are you done being pissed at me for the moment?" Wilson was confused by House's reply to his question. "I…think so, for now anyway. Why?"

House stood up and walked over to where Wilson sat. "Because I really don't want to talk about this anymore tonight, I just want to take you in the bedroom and get hot and sweaty and forget that today ever happened."

Wilson stood up and closed the distance between them and placed a hand on House's shoulder. "We have to talk about this soon. These are some major life changes were talking about."

"Yes, my becoming a father and you becoming an open bi-sexual man." Wilson looked at House and could see the warning there. House may have brought his own complications to their relationship but Wilson's was still front and center.

"I know. Come on I think I need to fuck you into the mattress right now."

House followed Wilson into the bedroom. "_Oooo_, I love it when you talk dirty." House spun Wilson around by his arm and crushed their lips together. Wilson eagerly opened his mouth to allow House access; tongues battled for dominance but Wilson easily won. House felt the need to have the younger man take control. Everything that happened throughout the day was out of his control in an unsettling way and he needed Wilson to show him a positive way of being overpowered. Wilson easily figured that out and was more the willing to accommodate his lover.

"I've got you Greg, just let me love you."

House laid back and allowed Wilson to take all of him in every way. Wilson loved him in ways that no one ever could. With every touch of delicate fingers and every thrust of agile hips, House felt his world make a little more sense, if only for _these_ moments when his lover consumed him with body and soul.

"I won't let you go_."_

**TBC**

_A/n: I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I am trying desperately to keep them IC but House sometimes proves a bit more difficult with his post Mayfield self. He has grown a bit softer with introspection but let me know when and if I get him wrong. It's hard to always make him a hard ass when he has real life issues to deal with. Thanks so much for reading and would love to hear what you think!!!_


	6. Chapter 55A SMUT BREAK

_A/n: Ok, you guys win. I must have been correct in my assumptions that chapter 5 didn't turn out that well. I've gotten a lot of hits but not nearly the amount of comments that I normally get. I understand completely so as a peace offering and please don't leave me offering, here's a bit of smut. I know I just posted chapter 5 last night but I wasn't completely happy with it so I decided I needed some man sex to make me feel better (and hopefully you as well). This is chapter 5 ½ because it is basically bedroom action with little plot movement (so I didn't want to designate it a new chapter). I hope it turned out okay and that you enjoy it. Thanks so much!!!_

_Fic rating: **This chapter rating change to M**, normal rating is T_

_Pairing: House/Wilson_

_Word count: 1600_

_Warnings: **slash**, **sexual content (this chapter)-don't read if not your thing!!!**_

_Sequel to "Tell Me You Will Understand"_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 5 1/2**

The clock read two am with sleep far from his grasp; House was tormented by his whirling thoughts. Wilson's head lay across House's shoulder, sleeping soundly as the older man idly rubbed his bare arm. House could never get enough of moments like this. The world asleep, unable to cause unwanted turmoil in his life, while the most important part of that life lay comfortably next to him, seemingly without a care.

Problems new and old festered in House's brain, diminishing the peaceful feeling he wanted to experience with his lover by his side. House sighed heavily in frustration of not being able to solve his own life's puzzles. The movement caused Wilson to stir.

"Hey…you awake?" House looked down to find sleepy chocolate colored eyes staring up at him.

"Yeah, I haven't slept yet. Go back to sleep, I'll go watch TV or something." As House started to pull away, Wilson quickly grabbed his arm to keep him in his place. "No, I want you here; it's fine; I'm awake now. I'll keep you company." House hesitated for a moment but decided he'd rather be in a warm bed with Wilson than sitting alone watching mindless TV. "Okay."

Wilson resumed his normal place on House's shoulder and wrapped an arm around House's bare chest. "You know I love it when we lay here like this, it makes me feel like nothing can touch us." Though House secretly shared his sentiment, he could _not_ pass up a golden opportunity for mocking. "That's some of the sappiest shit I've ever heard. Are you sure you're not a girl?" Wilson just rolled his eyes, he knew House loved it too but would never so much as admit it. "Well, I don't know. You tell me. I think what happened just a few hours ago in this very spot should prove that I'm all man….or stud; whichever term you prefer to use."

"Now _that_ was just damn cheesy." House rolled over onto his side so he could be face to face with Wilson. "Well _stud_, why don't you prove it again. I'm thinking that the amount of sappiness that comes out of that mouth and the amount of girly shit that goes into that hair cries out that you're secretly a woman."

Wilson gave House a gentle chaste kiss. "So I'm in touch with my feminine side, is there something wrong with that?" House let his long fingers trip over Wilson's back, sending shivers down the younger man's spine. "Well if I wanted to date a woman, then no, there's nothing wrong with that." Wilson decided they talked enough and needed to shut the older man's trap once and for all about his masculinity. "Shut up House."

Before House could say a word, Wilson rolled over on top of him, bringing their bodies together in the most sensitive places. Wilson hungrily attacked House's mouth, his tongue forcing apart the older man's lips. House smirked around the kiss. "Okay, I concede. Your manhood is pretty evident against my manhood right now." Wilson took the opportunity just then to thrust against House, forcing a delicious moan to escape his lover's lips. "I'm just getting started, I'm going to _own_ you tonight."

Wilson picked up a lazy rhythm, grinding his lower body against House causing sweet friction. "_Ahhh,_ yeah you keep talking big man." House laced his hands behind Wilson's neck and pulled him down to meet his mouth. House whispered against the younger man's lips. "I want you to fuck me." That's all Wilson needed to hear. He kissed House with passion and hunger the likes that House knew were reserved for moments like these. His mouth explored the sensitive spot behind House's ear before making a trail down the jaw line to his shoulder. Wilson spoke in a low, sultry voice that nearly sent House over the edge. "Roll over for me."

House obeyed without question; the light banter from a few moments before lost in the unmistaken desire that permeated the air. Wilson draped his upper body over House's shoulders and back, mouthing a trail from cheek to the nape of neck. The feather light kisses were erotic to say the least as House drank in the feel of his lover's body against his own. Wilson continued the ministrations with his lips while he reached for the ever faithful bottle from the side drawer. When he was ready, he slid off to the side as to better access House. One finger easily slid in while he kissed his lover's mouth to keep him relaxed. Wilson's other hand ran slow soothing circles over House's back while his mouth continued its erotic trip around House's upper body. A second finger found its way with a small whimper. Wilson continued his soothing techniques while he went about his business of preparing House to welcome him. Before long a third finger joined and Wilson brushed over House's sensitive spot causing House to moan in appreciation and need. "_God_…enough.._mmm_, enough. Do it!"

Wilson prepared himself with great patience. With each touch of his own hand, he was more than ready to go over the edge just from the experience of preparing House. He got to his hands and knees and straddled the older man before gently allowing his weight to fall across him. Wilson pushed House's legs apart, taking extra care of the damaged limb, and slowly entered him. The sweet tight feeling of being surrounded by House was almost more than he could take. "_AHHH_, Greg, so fucking tight."

House whimpered in appreciation and relief. Wilson slowly started to thrust and gradually picked up his rhythm as he felt House relax around him. The younger man changed his angle just a bit and hit House's sweet spot on the next in stroke. "OOOOOO, _there_…there; _God_, Jimmy…"

The sounds that escaped House's lips encouraged Wilson to pound harder, hips pistoning at a heady tempo; hitting just the right place every few strokes. Wilson knew he wouldn't last much longer. "God, Greg…Ah, _God_…" House reached down in the tight confines between himself and the bed and was able to give himself just enough of a touch to hurtle him over the edge. Wilson felt House tighten around him as the older man's climax hit, taking Wilson over with him. The white hot bursts of electricity shot through him as he rode House through both of their releases. "_Fuck_….ahhh…" After the last jolt ripped through Wilson's body, he collapsed down allowing his full body weight to now rest on House.

"That was fucking amazing."

"Ya huh."

Both men lay breathless; basking in the afterglow of mind blowing sex. "As much as I love the idea of a Wilson blanket, you're kinda crushing me here." Wilson smirked and placed a gentle chaste kiss to the nape of House's neck before rolling off to the side.

Both men laid there in silence for a period of time. Each knowing the other wasn't asleep despite the late hour. Even though they spent a good majority of the night indulging in the feel of one another; they both couldn't clear their minds with what lay ahead.

"Greg, do you want to talk about this now?" House didn't move, the only indication that Wilson had that showed House heard him was the words that followed. "I can't right now…I don't know how I feel about what's going on yet. I don't know what to do. I need a couple of days."

Wilson really wanted to talk about it. He still had questions and concerns about Lydia, about the baby…about them. He didn't want to push House but couldn't stop himself from asking at least this one question.

"Are you sure the baby is yours?" For some reason, Wilson was hoping he would say no. That they would prove that House didn't father the child, Lydia would go away, and they'd be happy. Things never did seem to go the way Wilson thought.

House rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling before answering. "Yeah, I'm…sure. Well as sure as I can be without a test."

"Do you plan on getting the test?" House sighed in exasperation. "Yes Wilson, I plan on getting a test. I already _know_ that it will confirm it. This is something were both going to have to get used to, unless you don't plan a sticking around that is."

This was _not _what Wilson wanted after the night they just shared together. Time for damage control, "you're right, let's not talk about this now. It's late, were both tired and I don't want it to lead to a fight."

Wilson moved over next to House and resumed his former position cuddling up to House's side.

"You know, some people may think you have a clinging problem; the way you attach yourself to my body after sex." Wilson smiled to himself; _God_, he loved this man.

"Yeah, it's a chance I'm willing to take. Night Greg."

"Night Jimmy."

**TBC**

_A/N: There's my smut for you. Hopefully it turned out alright and you enjoyed it. I know this chapter was shorter but Its sole purpose was to quell my need for some man sex. Next chapter will be back to the usual length. Thanks so much for reading and PLEASE let me know what you thought (I'm still kinda new at the smut stuff)._


	7. Chapter 6

_a/n: Okay guys, first off I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter. I kind of got off track writing short fics about the last episode and needed to put some thought into the direction of this story. I hope you enjoyed the smut from the last chapter because now I put forth the angst. I promise it won't all be angsty but it is necessary right now. Thanks to everyone who commented and added this story to their alerts. I really appreciate it and thanks so much for reading!!!_

_Fic rating: T_

_Fic pairing: House/Wilson_

_Fic warnings: slash, spoiler for season 6 premier_

_Sequel to "Tell Me You Will Understand"_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**CHAPTER 6**

House found himself unable to sleep after their middle of the night rendezvous; adrenaline and uncertainty still coursing through his veins. He made his way from the bed without waking Wilson and found refuge in the oversized leather chair that once held his hallucination of Amber. With the events of the previous day bombarding his mind, House sat silent, staring at his lover when a heartbreaking reality flooded over him.

He was going to be a father. A father to a child that he never thought he wanted but now feels a sense of pride, accomplishment, and outright fear toward. The reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks; Wilson didn't deserve to be put in the middle of this. He never mentioned wanting a child and the relationship had been hard enough on him already without adding House's indiscretions into the mix. House still wasn't sure if Wilson even _wanted_ the relationship to continue in a traditional sense; were they just friends with benefits? As of late, it'd been looking more and more like that. House felt the hurt overtake him once the realization hit that he needed to let Wilson go. The _one_ thing that he wanted more than anything; a relationship with Wilson needed to end to spare the younger man undue stress. He loved Wilson too much to expect him to deal with the uncertainty of his own sexuality along with the added pressure of helping to raise a child that wasn't his; a child that House was pretty sure he himself wanted.

As the night inched forward, so did House's thoughts. What could he truly offer Wilson anyway? He's one major crisis away from falling off the wagon and becoming the drug addicted bastard that nearly tore their friendship apart many times over the years; _it's better this way_, House thought. Wilson deserved more than a crazy middle aged crippled man. He deserved a young, beautiful, loving woman that would be there for him and make his life easier. _I've never made his life easier…and I'm still not. I have to let him go. _The irony of the situation was not lost on him. Before his breakdown, he wouldn't have hesitated to take advantage of his friend and allow him to stay in a situation that he knew would be too stressful. He would have told him to suck it up or leave. Now though, he just can't let it happen; he _won't_ let it happen. House spent the rest of the early morning hours formulating his plan to rid Wilson from his life. _Like ripping a band aid off_, he thought.

The early morning sun poured in through the window on the far side of the room. Wilson blinked to allow his eyes to adjust from the peaceful state of sleep to wakefulness. He turned his head to find House staring at him from the chair and gave him a warm smile. Wilson's content feeling began to fade as he took in the stern look on House's face.

"Hey, did you sleep in the chair?" House's face didn't budge, not allowing Wilson to gauge the problem from looks alone.

"I actually didn't sleep." Wilson spun his legs to the side of the bed and sat up to face House. He attempted to place his hands on House's knees when House brushed them away.

"Don't." Confusion was written all over Wilson's face and it was breaking House's heart with each connection of eyes.

"Greg, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

_Like ripping a band aid off. _"Wilson, it's over; I can't do this anymore….I don't _want_ this anymore."

Wilson's eyes went wide with shock, House could see the emotions flashing in the brown eyes he'd come to love.

"Wh..what? I…I don't understand. What about l..last night? You seemed happy with me…w..with us."

_Oh God this is going to be harder than I thought._ House stood up to break eye contact before he caved under the sadness that he created.

"You're not sure about your sexuality; this was a mistake to begin with. We never should have crossed that line Wilson. Were just friends; it's only a matter of time before you find some pretty damsel in distress to shower with your affections." House knew it was a low blow blaming it on Wilson but better for the situation if Wilson thought him to be the asshole that he felt he was.

"_No_, damn it House, I told you I'd work it out. You said you'd give me more time…." Something flashed in Wilson's eyes; some emotion that House couldn't place. "You son of a bitch; this has nothing to do with my issue. This has to do with you and Lydia. You want her don't you?" House knew that to be the furthest thing from the truth but to help his cause he latched onto it like a starving kitten to his mother.

"Well she _is_ having my kid…" Wilson seethed with anger, "you _bastard_, everything you said to me last night about it being me that you wanted was nothing but a fucking lie. Why would I have ever thought you could change? It's always been about you and it always will be."

House kept his head high with his chin jutted betraying his true emotion of despair. "It's better you figured that out now before things really got fucked up."

Wilson fumbled around to dress and gather his belongings in a quick sweep of the room. "Asshole."

"Yeah, like that should be a surprise to you." Wilson made his way to the door but just as he was about to leave, he dropped his head and spoke quietly. "House…_Greg_…"

"_Don't_..it's over Wilson, just… go." Wilson made his way over to House and gently kissed him on the lips. "I don't regret it, I'm sorry that _you_ do." With that Wilson left a stunned House standing in the middle of the living room as the door closed quietly behind him.

House felt like the wind had been knocked out of him; he just pushed away the most important person in his life and to make it worse said person thinks House doesn't want him. A feeling that House had never experienced before swept through his body causing him to lose his stamina and slide down the couch to the floor; ignoring the pain that flashed through his thigh. He shouldn't care so much; damn therapy and getting in touch with his emotions. It was so much easier when he was numb from the pills; body _and_ mind. _It's for the best; for his own good, he'll get over it and….so will I_. House sat there for an interminable amount of time trying to convince himself of just that.

*****

Wilson wasn't sure how but he made it to his own apartment in one piece; the drive was a blur to him with his thoughts turned toward House and his words. On his way home he vaguely remembered leaving a stern message for Doctor Payne and asking her to call him back immediately upon receiving it.

Wilson entered the apartment that he'd spent so little time at since he and House's relationship escalated; he seemed at a loss as to what to do. House ended it. Just as he was coming to terms with coming out and declaring his devotion to the older man, he ended it. Wilson felt betrayed, stunned, and in a state of disbelief. _How could he want her? He's only known her a short time. It can't be just about the baby. I'm missing something; but what?_

Wilson was snapped from his thoughts by his phone ringing in his pocket. He scrambled to answer it before it clicked to voicemail, hoping it was House. Without checking the caller id, he flipped it open without regard. "Wilson."

_"Doctor Wilson? This is Doctor Payne; your message sounded quite urgent, what can I help you with?"_

For some reason the gentle and welcoming tone of her voice served to piss Wilson off even more than he already was. "What the hell kind of place are you running over there?"

Doctor Payne had a feeling that this was what Wilson was calling about; she tried to stay calm for both of their sakes. _"I'm not sure I understand your question."_

"Is it common practice to allow your patients free reign of the facility to go off and have sex whenever they want? Do you have orgies in the name of therapy?"

_"Please Doctor Wilson, you need to calm down."_

"Trust me, this _is_ calm. Because of your carelessness you have a recovering addict suffering from depression in the position of becoming a father in the next few months. How could you and your staff allow him to sneak off and have sex while he was supposed to be recovering? Do you have _any_ idea what this news could and will do to his recovery?"

_"I can assure you Doctor Wilson that we are aware of the breach in our security and the problem is being addressed and will be dealt with."_

Wilson could feel his blood beginning to boil. "Dealt with? What the hell is that supposed to mean? How is House going to be dealt with when he's forced into fatherhood over a decision he made while in a _mental institution_?"

Doctor Payne felt sympathy for Wilson but knew she was bound in regards to what she could share. She knew she told House she'd help him through this but couldn't share that information. _"Doctor Wilson, I know you're angry and you have every right to be. Obviously we failed to protect one of our patients and I assure you that we are doing all we can to avoid this type of situation in the future, but I'm sure you realize that I can't share with you any information regarding my conversations with Greg."_

"So, I'm assuming then he's spoken with you regarding this."

_"I really _am_ sorry, but I can't share that information with you."_

Wilson sighed, knowing that he was taking his frustrations out on someone that had no control over his problems or the situation at hand, but he needed help and didn't know where to turn. "I know, I'm sorry for blowing up at you. I should know better than anyone that House does what he wants and you probably wouldn't have been able to stop him."

Doctor Payne felt a bit of relief at that so took the opportunity to see if she could help Wilson without breaking her code to House. _"Doctor Wilson, are you okay? Is there something you'd like to talk about? I can't share my conversations with Greg with you but I'm here if you need to talk."_

Wilson sat down on the couch and just stared blankly into space. He was mad about Mayfield failing House but at the same time he felt so alone and the woman was willing to listen. "He left me."

That bit of news took Doctor Payne by surprise. After her conversation with House the day before, she was under the impression that House wanted to stay with Wilson. She tried to keep her shock to herself. _"Did he say why?"_

"At first he tried to make me believe that he couldn't wait for me to work out my…problems and said our relationship was a mistake but I called him out on it and found out the real reason."

_"Would you like to share that reason with me James?"_

"He wants to be with Lydia…I guess to have the perfect little family. I don't know."

This was another unexpected development. _"Is that what he said? That he wanted to be with Lydia and not you?"_

"Not in so many words, but when I said it…you know, about Lydia, he didn't deny it."

_"I see."_

Wilson frowned at that. "What do you mean..I see? Did he say something to you about this? Never mind, of course you can't tell me if he did."

Doctor Payne actually felt sympathy for Wilson. She had a feeling as to why House did what he did just based on what he had told her at their last session but she couldn't share her thoughts on that. She needed to find a way to encourage Wilson in a roundabout way. _"Do you love him?"_

Wilson didn't even have to think about that; of course he did, more than anything. "Yes, but what difference does it make, obviously he doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he thought he did until Lydia came back into his life but it's clear that he wants to be with her and the baby now."

_"What I'm going to say to you is not based on any information I've received from Greg. Consider it advice from one colleague to another. Sometimes people do things that they don't necessarily want to do because they think it is the best thing for someone else in the long run. Maybe they do something very hurtful because they think they're protecting the other person from further pain."_

Wilson shook his head though he knew she couldn't see it. "I know where you're trying to go with this and you're wrong. House is not self sacrificing; he wouldn't do something to spare me from some unseen hurt. It's always been about him."

Doctor Payne actually got a bit angry over Wilson's dismissal of House's possible motives. _"Doctor Wilson, I know you're angry with him over him leaving you but do you really believe what you just said? Because I can name at least one time that I'm aware of that he was very selfless when it came to you."_

Of course Wilson knew she was right. House risked his life to save Amber's. He didn't do it for himself, he did it for Wilson. "No, the DBS, I know he did that for me but he wouldn't do this. He just doesn't want to be with me, he made it clear."

_"Obviously you know him better than I do, but I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss everything he's said to you over the last few months; not if you love him."_

Wilson sat silent for a moment. Could she be on to something or was she just trying to take light off her failures and try to feed him a line of shit to keep her on his good side? "I appreciate your time Doctor Payne; I'll take what you said into consideration."

_"James, you love him. Remember that."_

Wilson rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure; thanks again…goodbye."

Wilson continued to sit on the couch going over what had happened since the night before. House explained to him how he and Lydia came to be and how he loved Wilson and not her. He thought about the hours spent making love in House's bed and waking up to House wanting him out of his life. Could Doctor Payne be right? No, House wouldn't put Wilson before his own feelings, or would he? How the hell was he going to figure this out? Wilson loved House; he wanted to be with him. Of course he still had his own issues that he wasn't ready to face but…._no_ it doesn't matter. House wants Lydia so that's the end of it.

_It's over, he said so himself; if the son of a bitch wants Lydia than there's nothing I can do but forget about the last few months and move on with my own life. If I'm good at anything, it's chasing a skirt into my bed to forget about my problems. Two can play at your game House._

**TBC**

_a/n: So sorry about the angst, it's necessary to move the story forward. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and would love to know what you thought, so please tell me!!!_


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N: Don't throw things please…I'm so so sorry about the delay in this chapter. My RL has been so screwed up the last few weeks and it caused a MAJOR writer's block. I knew exactly where I wanted to go but couldn't get it onto the paper. I'm hoping this turned out ok and gets my point across while still being enjoyable to read. Thanks to Hilsonlover at LJ and ShadowCat65 at for their words of encouragement to get going again. Anyway, thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!! (Caution-still a bit angsty)_

_Fic Rating: T_

_Fic Warning: slash, season 6 premier spoiler_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

_Pairing: House/Wilson (mostly) A bit of House/OFC and Wilson/OFC_

_Sequel to: "Tell Me You Will Understand"_

**CHAPTER 7**

Three days had passed since House kicked Wilson out of his life. They had both made a point to avoid the other at all costs; each for their own reasons. Wilson had spent that agonizing time thinking about the months spent with House after his release from Mayfield; the relationship that he felt was blossoming into something they both would possibly want for the rest of their lives. With each passing hour however, his thoughts turned darker, Wilson became more angry; angry at House, angry at Lydia, at an unborn child that was a victim in this vicious mess, angry at life in general. All he wanted was to feel better; the kind of better that came from a good strong bottle of liquor and a warm body by his side. Needless to say, he wasn't surprised to wake up on the fourth day next to Nurse Ellen or Sandy, or was it Angela? Wilson didn't know which, and it really didn't matter. The feeling of pleasure didn't last long enough for him to care, and the act itself left him feeling lonelier than he had been before.

Wilson laid in his bed staring at the young petite blond that had been flirting with him since she was assigned to the oncology ward two months prior. House had been a bit jealous of the attention that she showered the handsome oncologist with; an act that always made Wilson feel more wanted by House. It was memories like that which kept Wilson conflicted in his emotions toward their breakup. The memories of their brief time together did not mesh with the reason and suddenness of the way it ended.

His thoughts turned to the night before and the sex that he had with Girl who's name he couldn't remember. It was nice, it served its purpose, but it wasn't fulfilling…not like it was with House. Wilson hadn't realized until then what an attentive lover House was and how right it felt to be with him. More right than it had ever felt with anyone in the past…even with Amber. He really missed House.

The knock at the door took Wilson by surprise. His bed mate next to him simply stirred but didn't awaken as Wilson made his way from the bedroom out to see who dare add to his annoyance at this early hour on a Sunday morning. He certainly did not expect to see the person who greeted him.

"House, what are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood?" Wilson's hand attached to the familiar spot on the back of his neck while he took in House's demeanor, he looked…hopeful?

"House, why are you really here?" House fidgeted where he stood, discomfort written all through his body.

"You've been avoiding me, I just wanted to make sure you were…you know….okay."

Wilson couldn't stop the anger that had been building in him since their breakup from pushing through his good guy exterior. "Why the fuck would you care if I'm alright? _You_ left me, remember?" As Wilson spoke Miss Whoever made her presence known.

"James, what are you doing? It's early, come back to bed." As she spoke she approached Wilson and leaned on him. Even though Wilson could give two shits about this woman, he couldn't help to feel a bit vindictive over House dismissing him for Lydia and played her presence up. Wilson put his arm around her and greeted the pretty blond with a warm smile. "You know Doctor House, he just stopped by to say hello and is leaving now."

A fleeting emotion...hurt perhaps, passed along House's face before his mask took its place again, but not soon enough for Wilson to miss it. Wilson felt horrible inside for rubbing this in House's face but the wound his friend had left behind was still too fresh for him to truly care.

"I see it didn't take you long to move on."

"Well you know me and as you can see, I'm fine. Go back to your new family House and leave me alone." With that, Wilson shut the door on a speechless House.

As House made his way to his car, he felt like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. He wasn't sure what brought him to Wilson's apartment; he'd been out driving around in an effort to quell his mind and just found himself at his ex-lover's door. He wasn't lying when he said that he wanted to make sure the younger man was okay, but maybe a part of him also wanted to see if he made a mistake letting Wilson go.

House knew he shouldn't put too much stock in Wilson having a woman in his bed so soon after their breakup. After all, it's how Wilson operated; he needed the comfort. That thought however, wasn't enough to make it hurt any less seeing the attractive woman wearing Wilson's robe and being in his arms. Arms that used to be reserved for House, even if it was for only a few short months.

House shook the hurt from his mind and returned to rational thinking. He did the right thing letting Wilson go and seeing him already moving on was proof enough of that; Wilson needed to be loved and cared for, not forced into parenthood with an aging cripple. He realized he also needed to try and move on. He still hadn't talked to Lydia since their lunch date and they needed to discuss the baby and what that baby… and Lydia would mean to House's life.

"Lydia, it's Greg. I'm ready to talk about this now, about….us. Meet me in my office at one o'clock tomorrow."

*****

Lydia walked into House's office at one o'clock as instructed but found both his office and the conference room empty. After waiting fifteen minutes, she decided to look for House in the corridor. As she was leaving House's office she noticed a familiar face heading toward the elevator.

"Doctor Wilson?"

Wilson recognized the voice immediately and slowly pivoted to look at the woman that turned his life upside down. He put on his friendliest smile to greet her; after all, she wasn't aware of the relationship that he had shared with House until she came along.

"Hello Lydia, what can I do for you?"

"I was supposed to meet Greg in his office twenty minutes ago but he hasn't shown up yet. I was wondering if maybe you knew where he was."

More tersely than he intended, he answered. "I have no idea where he is, you would know better than me."

Lydia picked up on the anger in his voice but didn't speak of it. She knew from their first meeting in House's apartment that there was something between the two men; she didn't know what that something was…at least not yet anyway.

"I'm sorry to bother you Doctor Wilson, I'll just go wait for him in his office."

Wilson dropped his head with shame at the small outburst.

"Lydia, I'm sorry for being rude. It's just been a rough few days and…well, I'm sure House will be there soon. If I see him though I'll be sure to let him know you're waiting."

Lydia studied Wilson's face and noticed the weariness that sketched his features.

"Thank you."

Just then House exited the elevator to see Lydia and Wilson.

"Filling her head with all sorts of crazy stories about me Wilson?"

Though House's tone was in jest, Wilson didn't miss the underlying edge to his voice. "Wouldn't dream of it House, just a few minutes alone with you and I'm sure she'll be able to form her own opinion."

"Touché my dear boy but as you can clearly see, I've already spent more than a few minutes alone with her." Wilson outwardly flinched at the implications of that remark. He felt maybe he deserved it for flaunting his conquest the morning before but _God_ did it hurt all the same.

"Well if you two will excuse me, I have a patient to see."

Lydia silently took in the obviously strained banter between the two friends. On the outside, it seemed to be two guys throwing harmless barbs to get a rise out of the other in all good fun, but she could tell there was something hidden in what was transpiring in front of her.

"Thanks again Doctor Wilson. It was nice seeing you."

"Yeah, see ya Jimmy boy. Me and my baby mama have got things to do."

Wilson quickly made his exit with a curt nod goodbye. It felt like the hall was closing in on him and his breathing became shallow. He made his way to the nearest men's room and shut himself in one of the stalls. Why was he feeling this way? Sure he loved House but it was over, they were friends for years before this, it can be that way again, can't it? Why the hell was this hurting him so God damn much? They spent less than five months together as more than just friends, it's not like it was a lifetime.

_He has Lydia now, he's obviously happy with her and I'm happy for him. He deserves to have what makes him happy even if that isn't me. Maybe if I came out when he asked me to, maybe then he would have been more compelled to stay with me instead. It doesn't matter now; I just need to find a way to be his friend again because the thought of not having him in my life at all is unbearable._

*****

"Have a seat." Lydia took a seat opposite House in his office and studied the man before speaking.

"Thanks. Um…Doctor Wilson seemed a bit upset just now. Is everything okay with him? You two seemed a little…strained."

"I think it's that time of the month; Wilson is like a woman. He gets all weepy, eats chocolate, and cries during stupid ass movies." House's words fell just shy of the snark that he intended; it just seemed forced.

"Very funny Greg, I thought he was supposed to be your friend. Maybe you should go talk to him."

House fidgeted in his chair, discomfort over the current conversation obvious in his features. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about the baby, not about Wilson. Can we do that?"

"Of course, yes…I'm sorry. What do you have on your mind?"

House looked everywhere but at Lydia. He seemed scared, he held the same look when she brought him sheet music to Mayfield and he asked where their relationship was heading before walking out.

"I want to make sure this kid is mine first of all and if it….is, then I want to try and be a father to it. I _need_ to be a father to it."

Lydia looked thoughtful for a moment, taking what House had just said to her. She was hoping for his participation and she expected the paternity issue to come up.

"What about the person you're seeing, how does she feel about this…about your decision to be a part of our baby's life?"

Distress, hurt, sadness…all of the above spread across House's face, "we broke up a few days ago…it's for the best."

"God Greg, I'm _so_ sorry. Was it because of this…because of me?"

House knew that yes it was because of the baby, because of Lydia, because of Wilson's indecision about his sexuality, about what was best for Wilson's future. None of those things were something he was willing to share with Lydia.

"It just didn't work out. People break up all the time, it's no big deal and I don't want to discuss it with you."

Lydia started at the tone of House's voice but quickly recovered from hearing this part of House; a part that she never saw in Mayfield. She realized for the first time since her arrival, that perhaps there is a great deal she doesn't know about the father of her unborn child.

"Okay Greg, that's fine. We don't need to talk about it."

"Good. Are you planning on sticking around until the baby is born?" House quickly needed to get his emotions under control and get the topic of conversation back on task.

"Yes, I plan on living in the house until it sells and then getting an apartment closer to Princeton. When my son comes home from Germany at the end of the school semester in May he'll be staying with me since his father travels so much. I also thought it would allow the baby to be closer to you. "

House nodded his head to that but didn't say anything.

"I was hoping you could recommend an Ob/Gyn for the remainder of my prenatal care and for delivery."

"Yeah I'll get you set up with Doctor Snyder, we'll set up an appointment for a sonogram to verify the conception date as well. If he requires an amniocentesis then we will do a DNA paternity test at that time, if one isn't needed then we'll wait until the baby is born. I don't want to risk the health of the kid just for that."

"Thanks for being there for me and for the…baby, it means a great deal to me."

As Lydia was getting up to leave, assuming the discussion was over, House called her back.

"Lydia, what do you see happening between us…I mean as a couple?"

"I had no expectations. I would be lying if I said I didn't think about us being together. The short time we had was beautiful but I wasn't expecting you to want it to continue…especially not after how I left."

House thought about that for a moment but said nothing more regarding them as more than just…what? He didn't know.

"I'll talk to Snyder this afternoon and call you with the appointment times. I want to be at all the appointments…if you won't allow it then that's a deal breaker."

"Of course Greg, I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll talk to you later."

With that, Lydia rounded House's desk and gave him a small kiss on the cheek; nothing romantic, just perhaps a peace offering of sorts. House didn't respond, just nodded his acknowledgment of her parting words.

After Lydia left, House found himself reflecting alone in his office; the events of the past thirty six hours running through his head. House finding himself on Wilson's doorstep, finding Wilson in bed with a pretty young woman, Lydia, the baby, Lydia being open to whatever relationship House wants to pursue. _God_ he needed a case, he needed the damn distraction to take his mind off of his fucked up life. When he left Mayfield, he had it all figured out; he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Wilson. He realized how selfish that notion was and how Wilson needed more than he could ever offer. Could he offer Lydia what she needed? Or the baby for that matter? He didn't love Lydia but he cared enough and she was so much like Wilson. Would it be enough? House smirked at himself. _Wilson dated Amber who was my proxy and now I'm thinking about dating his. God we are so fucked up._

**TBC**

_A/N: There you have it, again, I'm so sorry about the delay and I hope you didn't lose interest because of my slacking. I would love to hear from who's still out there about what you thought of this chapter's developments. Thanks so much for reading!!!_


	9. Chapter 8

_A/N: I won't even try to make an excuse for the delay in this chapter. I'm sure I could come up with plenty but they wouldn't make a difference. All I can say is that I'm sorry and here's chapter 8. Please read A/N at end of chapter for hint regarding next chapter. This has all three of our main characters playing a major part in the plot and I hope you enjoy. Also, not only have I been neglectful in putting up this next chapter but I've also been neglectful in returning some of your comments. I just want to say a big THANK YOU to all of my readers and thanks for the comments. I still have them in my email and will be answering the ones I haven't gotten to yet. Please let me know at the end what you think. Thanks so much for your patience and now onward my friends!!!_

_Fic Rating: T_

_Fic Warning: slash, season 6 premier spoiler_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

_Pairing: House/Wilson (mostly) A bit of House/OFC and Wilson/OFC_

_Sequel to: "Tell Me You Will Understand"_

**CHAPTER 8**

Both House and Wilson had become proficient in the art of evasion, managing to avoid one another in the week following their strained banter in the hall with Lydia as their witness. House had been consumed by a difficult case and Wilson by his desperate need not to see his ex lover and friend face to face. Wilson thanked the giver of small miracles that House's latest case didn't present in a possible cancer diagnosis; great for the patient and for him.

The day had arrived for Lydia's first sonogram to be performed by the obstetrician that House had set her up with: Doctor Snyder. House sat in his office finding himself anxious at the thought of seeing his child on the screen for the first time. Of course he'd seen hundreds of fetal sonograms over the course of his medical career but this was different. He had a vested interest in the fetus he was about to see. Lydia pulled House from his thoughts as she entered his office to gather him to accompany her to the appointment. House had made it clear in no uncertain terms that he was to be notified and included in all said appointments.

"Hi Greg, you ready to go?"

House started at the sound of Lydia's voice but quickly gathered his senses enough in order to put his cane out and steady his assent. "Uh, yeah…ready as I'll ever be."

Lydia noticed the strained features that House wore guarded on his face but chalked it up to the difficult case that he'd mentioned to her during one of their many conversations over the phone. Even though Lydia had not spent much time in House's presence since her arrival, they had definitely made a connection over the phone. Lydia suspected that House wasn't much of a phone person, but she figured it was something he could use as a shield and hide behind until he felt more comfortable with her sudden reemergence and their current situation.

Upon arriving at the office of Doctor Snyder located on the obstetrics floor, House couldn't help but notice the awkward stares he received from several passing nurses and doctors. While the attention made him uncomfortable, it also supplied him with a sense of pride that he couldn't quite understand as to why it was there. Lydia signed herself in and took a seat next to House in the waiting area.

"You look terrified." Lydia placed a gentle hand over House's forearm as she spoke.

"Pftt…nothing scares me." House tried for arrogant with a shade of sarcasm but it fell short on both counts.

Lydia couldn't help but produce a fond smile at that. "Yes, says the man that looks like he's about to lose his lunch."

House slid his arm away from Lydia's touch, uncomfortable with the public display as well as he still wasn't sure how he felt about Lydia being in his life like that. "I'm fine."

Lydia looked at House with an expression of hurt mixed with a bit of puzzlement. She knew he was still getting over a breakup and had no intentions of pushing him into something he wasn't ready for. As she contemplated who this mystery woman was in House's life, the nurse called her into the exam room. House followed behind Lydia as they passed the nurse who held Lydia's file.

"Doctor House, are you accompanying Lydia for this procedure?" House and Lydia both could tell what here real question was…_what the hell are you doing? _Lydia wasn't sure what House had told people or _if _he did at all so she went to respond in some generic fashion before House cut her off.

"She's got my kid in that huge gut of hers; what did ya think she was carrying in there….a basketball." He followed that with his best 'duh you're stupid' look and made his way to the room. Lydia threw the nurse an apologetic smile and followed after him.

"Um…ok, Doctor Snyder will be with you in a moment." As the nurse closed the door, Lydia gave House a sharp look but couldn't hide her amusement at his childish antics.

"What?"

"You know what; behave!" Even though Lydia tried to keep her voice stern, she couldn't stop the smile that crept across her face.

"Ahhh mooomm, but you're no fun." Lydia noticed that House seemed more relaxed at that point than he had been out in the waiting area. She had come to the conclusion upon first meeting him that he was far from a happy man. She realized that if she could have a few moments each day like this with him, than dealing with his childishness was more than worth it. Just as it seemed House was going to start squirming under her scrutiny of him; Doctor Snyder made his presence known.

"Good afternoon Doctor House, and this must be Lydia." House rolled his eyes at Snyder.

"See Lydia, I told you I'd get you the best. He can tell by just looking at the name on your chart and the fact that you're obviously pregnant that you're you."

"Greg, stop that….I'm sorry Doctor Snyder, Greg's a bit antsy because he's been out of his cage for too long." House gave Lydia a dirty look but admired her gall while Snyder just snickered at the both of them. "Don't worry Lydia, I'm quite used to House's um….personality quirks."

"Ok, I'm right here ya know. You can stop talking about me." Snyder just ignored House and motioned for Lydia to lie down. As she did so, a serious feeling crept into the air as House's next words rang out.

"I want you to start with calculating the approximate gestational age of the fetus. I need to know that before we discuss anything else." He threw Lydia a small apologetic look before turning toward the monitor. Lydia tried to push down the feeling of hurt that crept into her total being at that, but knew it was a reasonable request on House's part; that thought did not make it any easier to deal with.

Several minutes passed in silence as Snyder measured the fetuse's head, chest, arms, legs, and rump to crown height in order to allow the computer to take those measurements and compare them to a database of other fetuses the same size to determine it's approximate age. The doctor announced the most likely age of the fetus and a small window of time when Lydia would have conceived. House was silent as he took all the information in and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when the dates matched up closely to when they had sex. Of course a DNA test would still need to be done but at least he knew that there was a good chance based on the calculations that this was his child. House squeezed Lydia's hand subconsciously in relief but gently pulled back when he realized what he had done. Lydia tried to ignore it. Snyder noticed the tension and spoke to break it.

"Ok, so now that we've gotten that out of the way, would you like to know what you're having?"

House looked at Lydia and nodded once. "Yes, please."

"Well you can see that the baby is very active and not making this easy for me but…ah here we go. It's a…."

"Boy." House finished the doctor's sentence before he could. "Lydia, we're having a boy." House sat there dumbfounded. He never thought he would have a child….he never thought he _wanted_ a child, but seeing the baby…his _son…_moving around on the screen in front of him, he couldn't help but feel all the emotions that he mocked people in the past for feeling. It hit him then like a ton of bricks…he was going to be a father…he was going to have a child. Lydia and Snyder both watched House in silence for a few brief moments as some unknown emotions passed over his face. Neither had ever seen him like this before and where actually savoring the moment. House stood up and gave Lydia's hand one last squeeze.

"I…I gotta get back to my office. My team will think I ran away, you know with a dying patient and all."

Lydia looked over at House, confused. "Greg, don't you want to be here for the rest of the exam?"

House turned his head but kept his momentum toward the door as if he was a trapped mouse trying to flee a hungry cat.

"Ah no, I can't. I'm sure Snyder's going to wanna do a pelvic exam or something, don't think I need to be here for that." House turned again to leave but stopped in the doorway with his back to Lydia.

"Um, how about dinner tonight? We…um…can discuss the rest of your appointment then."

Lydia was surprised by the invitation but hid it well. "Sure…sounds good."

"Good then, I'll…see ya later." With that House beat his retreat as fast as a man with a cane could manage.

*****

Wilson's afternoon was quiet, with few actual patient appointments. He decided to spend the afternoon sequestered with his paperwork that he'd neglected over the last week or so. His mind had just not been into it and his concentration level was in the toilet. He missed House. Not just the relationship that had blossomed between them over the last five months but he also missed the friendship that had grown into a force to be reckon with over the last twenty years. Well unless the reckoning was in the form of a five and half months pregnant woman named Lydia.

Wilson knew he could hardly blame Lydia for his and House's falling out. After all, Wilson chose to enter into a sexual relationship with his best friend knowing that the odds were against them. Not just because of his own inability to be in an open relationship, but also because they were both very difficult people. How did they ever expect it to work in the first place? Why did they risk what they had before over something as silly as sex? Wilson realized that it was because they loved each other and were each other's soul mate. Well at least _he_ felt that way; he wasn't so sure about House anymore.

Wilson tried without success to shake himself of his thoughts and to complete his tasks at hand, but his mind kept going back to House. He never realized until House was in Mayfield just how two sided their friendship had been. He always knew House needed it…well at least until recently. But he never could admit to himself how much he needed it as well. House was his best, longest, and truest friend. He was all of those things before they started sharing a bed together. Wilson knew he desperately loved House and wanted back into a relationship with him but didn't see that happening again based on House's own words. Wilson needed at least the friendship though; he needed to be in House's life and to have House in his. The younger man made a decision; stood from his chair and made his way to House's office.

Wilson knocked on House's glass office door before he entered. House looked up from his patient's file with his glasses perched on the edge of his nose. _God_ Wilson loved that look on him. A look of pure concentration when trying to come up with the right diagnosis; not to mention the glasses were sexy as hell. _Snap out of it, that's not why you're here._

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?" House leaned back in his chair and eyed Wilson skeptically as he removed his glasses. House was going to shoot for something sarcastic but just didn't feel it in him at the moment, not to mention he was curious as hell as to what Wilson wanted.

"Have a seat." Wilson rounded the visitor's chair across from House's desk and steeled himself to relax before he sat down.

"What can I do for you?"

Wilson controlled the nervous shaking in his hands by placing them in his coat pockets.

"House, I miss you…." Wilson quickly held up a hand as if to ward of any unwanted rejection before he had time to finish his thoughts. "I know you said our relationship was over and I'm not going to say that doesn't hurt me, because it does. House, we were friends for a long time and only….together for a little while. I need your friendship, if I can't have more, I at least need that back."

House was silent for what seemed like an eternity and Wilson began to feel like this was a mistake. He couldn't help the hand that migrated to the back of his neck as he prepared himself to make a hasty retreat with his tail between his legs. House's next words were unexpected and surprisingly honest.

"I need you too….I…mean I need your friendship too." House surprised himself by that admission. He missed the younger man so much and wanted nothing more than to cross they desk, throw him down and prove just how much. He couldn't though. He needed Wilson to move on and if restoring the friendship helped him do that then House would give him that much.

"Um, good then…" Wilson found himself at a sudden loss of words and no clue as to what to do next. "Lunch tomorrow then?" House nodded his head and was going to leave it at that but before he could stop himself, the words left him.

"I'm having a son." He felt guilty for saying it but he had this overwhelming desire to share the biggest news of his life with the most important person to him.

"That's….great! I'm happy for you…really, I am." Wilson knew the hurt came through when he spoke but couldn't do much for it.

"Liar." House said softly with no venom attached. Wilson stood up to make his exit…"you'll have that. I'll see you at lunch tomorrow." House again nodded his affirmation. It would take time, he thought.

Wilson passed Lydia in the doorway to House's office as he was leaving and turned back briefly to see House greet here with a small smile. It hurt more than Wilson could bare but he knew he needed to move forward. With that, he went back to his office to finish his paperwork.

*****

"You didn't mention what time or where you wanted to meet for dinner tonight." House looked up but didn't really hear anything Lydia had said.

"What?"

"Dinner. Where? When?"

"Oh yeah, just a bit preoccupied…I'll pick you up at seven and we'll take it from there." Just as House was finishing his sentence, his pager went off, signaling an emergency with the patient.

"Gotta go…doctor stuff and all. Seven, and _be_ ready, I don't like waiting around." Lydia just smiled at him as he left his office. She could see him try to make light of the mood that she had walked into as Wilson left. Something was up with them. She knew if from the first moment she saw them together at House's apartment. She could see some sort of connection between them and each time she saw them together, she witnessed just a bit more. Lydia started to realize that there was something big House was keeping from her; something painful, and most likely something to do with the handsome sad faced oncologist that she had only met a handful of times. Lydia decided it was time to pay a visit to the friendly,but sad Doctor Wilson and have a little chat.

**TBC**

_A/N: I was going to include the chat with this chapter but it's complex in nature so it will be in the next one. Will Lydia end up as an ally to Wilson or enemy number one? I have the next couple of days off of work so I intend to work on the next chapter diligently and get it to you ASAP!!! Thanks for your patience and let me know what you think. Thanks so much for reading!!!_


	10. Chapter 9

_a/n: Here's the next chapter guys. As promised, the conversation between Lydia and Wilson and bit of realization at the end…oh and not as angsty as the last few chapters. Thanks so much for all the comments from the previous chapter. I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much for reading!!_

_Fic Paring: House/Wilson primarily. Some House/OFC and a bit of Wilson/OFC_

_Fic Warning: Slash_

_Word Count: 2600_

_Fic rating: Pg-13_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!!_

_Sequel to: __Tell Me You Will Understand_

**CHAPTER 9**

Lydia would be lying to herself if she tried to say she wasn't looking forward to her dinner date with House. After all, they had clicked somehow when House was a patient in Mayfield: two lonely souls looking for a place in the world and meaning in their life. She hadn't realized she was lacking that until she met the ruggedly handsome loner that fateful day. As happy as she was with the new development with House, she couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of her mind regarding the sad looking doctor that kept crossing their path. Lydia knew there was something between the two men; something undeniably strong but yet something very broken.

Wilson heard the knock at his door but had little energy to rise and answer it like the polite man he usually was. Even though House had agreed to work on putting the friendship back together, he was still hurting terribly over the fact that he'd no longer be able to touch the man he'd grown to love more than any other romantic partner he'd had in his past.

"Come in, the doors open." Without looking up from his task at hand, Wilson coldly addressed whomever it was that dare bother him while he was brooding. "What is it?"

Lydia was taken aback by the cool tone and spoke warily. "May we talk for a few minutes?"

Wilson started out of his thoughts and took a look at his visitor, surprised by her presence and her request. "Lydia, what are you doing here? There really isn't anything I can tell you about House to prepare you to deal with him on a daily basis so if that's what you're looking for, I can't help you. "

Lydia just ignored that, and pushed forward. "Do you mind if I sit down?" Wilson sighed out of pure frustration and feelings of betrayal but he was going to be polite if it killed him…he wasn't House after all. "Yes, I'm sorry. Of course…please have a seat."

Lydia rounded the visitor chair in front of Wilson's desk, took a seat, and looked expectantly at the doctor.

"What can I do for you? What is it that you'd like to know about House?"

"Greg talked a great deal about you when I would visit him in Mayfield. He 's not a very…open and emotional man but when he spoke your name, I could see _and_ hear how much you meant to him…"

Lydia paused to allow that thought to sink in; she could see the younger man emotionally deflate right in front of her. "But now, I see hurt and anger between the two of you…and yet the bond is still very much there. I guess I'm curious as to what happened to make you both so very sad."

Wilson couldn't believe the words that just passed his ears._ What happened? She fucking wants to know what happened? God if she were a man, she'd be on her ass by now. Calm…it's not her fault, she doesn't know about House and me. _"It's complicated, we've always had a tumultuous… friendship and we're just going through one of those tough times now. It'll blow over eventually…it always does."

Lydia listened intently to the handsome doctor but could tell that he was handing her a line of shit. Time to pull out the big guns. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"W-what? W-why would you think that?" Wilson felt the heat rise in his cheeks, which meant Lydia saw it. _Damnit, is this why House likes her? Because she's just as perceptive as he is? Or is it just that obvious? Fuck!_ _Time to deflect._

"I have no idea what you're talking about; House and I are just friends. _Maybe_ I'm upset because here I thought my best friend was locked up for two months getting help for severe _mental_ problems and not having sex in the corner with whomever was willing!" Wilson could see that his words were hitting hard, and some part of him felt guilty for saying those things to a pregnant woman but damnit, it needed to be done. With Lydia still stunned into silence, Wilson continued his rant.

"What the hell kind of person has sex with an institutionalized mental patient anyway and then gets pregnant on top of that? Do you have any idea what this may do to his recovery? Did you even think about that before you waltzed back into his life unannounced?" Wilson saw the single tear streak down Lydia's face and that brought him back to the moment; persona snapping in place. He rose from his chair and went to Lydia to place a hand on her shoulder. "God, I'm _so_ sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. I know House is a big boy and does what he wants, it wasn't fair of me to place all the blame on you."

Lydia took a deep breath and tried to shake off the cruel words that indeed held a great deal of truth. She knew at some point it would come up, but from what she knew of Wilson, she didn't expect it from him. "You're only speaking the truth, and you're just trying to look out for Greg; I can respect that."

Wilson sat down in the chair next to Lydia with his head in his hands. "I just care about him so much and I don't want to see him where he was a year ago, I can't go through that again…_he_ can't go through that again." Lydia took in Wilson's defeated pose and knew she wouldn't get a straight answer from the man before her regarding the true nature of their relationship. Even though she still felt very raw from what Wilson had said, she pushed forward.

"Greg said he was seeing someone when I first came back to town, but that now they're broken up. Do you know who that person was?" Wilson nodded his head with a smile that held no humor or happiness in it. "Yeah…very well. That person loved House a great deal but it's quite obvious he didn't feel the same….Look Lydia, I need to go do rounds. I'm sure you and House will work out just fine and I _am_ really sorry about what I said to you."

They both stood and Lydia gave one last good look at Wilson's face and could see more anguish there than she could ever remember seeing gracing anyone else's features before. "Thank you for your time James, I really appreciate it."

Wilson flashed her with his best smile as he walked her to the door. "No problem and…good luck with House."

"Can I ask you one more question?" Wilson looked puzzled but was polite this time. "Sure, what is it?"

"Do you want children?" Wilson was taken aback by the question, and wondered what Lydia's motive was for asking such a personal question but decided to answer anyway. "I thought so but the opportunity never presented itself so I guess my answer is…I don't know."

Lydia nodded her head in understanding and left Wilson's office without another word.

*****

House stood in front of the full length mirror trying to determine if he should wear a tie for his date with Lydia. "This was never a problem while I was with Wilson." Wilson…there's a thought he tried desperately not to have cross his mind. He thought back to earlier in the day in his office when said man came in to see him; all but begging to have some place in his life_. Why does it have to be so damn hard? He needs to let go so he can move on with his life…it's for the best. _

House's thoughts jumped to the sonogram that afternoon and the first images of his baby…_of his baby. _House had never realized until the moment that his child appeared on the screen how much he truly wanted to become a father. This would be _his_ child to take care of, to teach the ways of the world; to protect him from all the evils that were waiting to descend. House felt an overwhelming sense of pride and responsibility at the thought of bringing this child into the world. Unfortunately, along with swell of those new emotions, another feeling accompanied that….an unbearable sense of loss and loneliness for what he chose to give up. He hoped his date with Lydia would alleviate some of the latter feeling.

After one last check in the mirror; he ditched the tie, sighed deeply and headed out the door toward uncertainty.

*****

"This is a lovely restaurant Greg." House pulled the chair out for Lydia; for some reason he was very nervous about being on this date. It just felt off somehow. House remembered how easily they got along when he was in Mayfield so he forced himself to relax and decided to try and recapture whatever spark they once had.

"Thanks." An uncomfortable silence fell across the table so Lydia decided it was time to see what she could find out from House regarding his friend Wilson.

"So, you told me once that Doctor Wilson was your one and only friend. Why is that?" House was a bit uncomfortable with the topic of conversation but tried to keep his emotions in check.

"I dunno, I guess he's just attracted to the shine of my neediness where most other people find me to be an unbearable asshole."

"You're not that bad; I find you to be very kind….and very sexy too." Lydia followed the last bit with a coy smile. House fidgeted a bit before replying. "Yeah, well you only know the new and improved me. Everybody else can't forget the old me…except for Wilson." Lydia was stunned by the amount of warmth spoken in those last three words. _Would he ever sound that way about me?_

"Greg. What happened between you and James?"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean." Lydia knew she was treading a thin ice by pushing this subject, but if she even had any chance with House, she needed to know where she stood. "Every time I see the two of you together, I can see the strain on your relationship. Is it because of the baby?"

House straightened up and went on the defensive. "Of course not, Wilson's probably just pissed off because he'll have to share me now with a real kid. Sometimes I think he considers _me _to be just a big kid."

Lydia smiled and reached her hand across the table to touch the back of House's. "Well, you do kinda act like it sometimes." House smiled back and flipped his hand over to squeeze Lydia's.

Both Lydia and House relaxed a bit at that point but both seemed to have something else on their minds. Little did they know, it was the same something…or as the case was, the same someone. Wilson. The rest of the dinner went by without any problems. They talked about House's recovery, Lydia's breakup with her husband, and their impending parenthood.

Upon returning to Lydia's place, House helped Lydia from the car and walked with his arm around her waist to the door.

"I had a really good time Greg. It felt good to put all of my problems aside for a couple of hours and enjoy the company of someone I care about."

"Yeah, I guess I know what you mean." Silence overtook them as they stood outside the door facing one another. House decided that if he was going to forget about Wilson and give this thing a chance with Lydia then he needed to move things forward. He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers. Lydia closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his shoulders while they exchanged a few lingering chaste kisses. Just as she thought the kisses would deepen, House hesitated just an inch from her mouth and opened his eyes. Lydia could see it then, she could see that his heart belonged to someone else and it wasn't going to open up to her anytime soon. Lydia backed away from House's next attempt.

"Greg, stop." House was surprised by that.

"What…what's wrong?" Lydia didn't want to push the subject of his emotions at this point. She could see that he was hurting and would probably go on the defensive again. She smiled and placed a hand on House's cheek. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just very tired all of sudden…you know the whole pregnancy thing. I think I'm just going to turn in. I really did have a good time."

House was puzzled as to why she abruptly ended their encounter but gave her the benefit of the doubt. After all, she is pregnant. "Ok, I'll give you a call tomorrow then. Maybe we can set up another dinner sometime this week."

"Sounds good. Oh and Greg…give James a call, I really think you two need to talk." Lydia watched House's mask snap into place. "Wilson and I are fine. Don't worry about it." Lydia nodded her head as she watched House climb into his car to leave. She gave one last wave before turning in for the night.

_What is he trying to prove by staying away from James? Don't they both realize how obvious it is to the people around them that they are completely in love with one another?_

*****

House reflected on his evening with Lydia on the drive back to his apartment.

_Well that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. She's a good person and she can even tolerate me. That's a huge plus considering most people can't. I can make this work with her. She's going to have my kid and we can be a family. When the hell did I become a family man? Who am I kidding, this isn't me. The spark that we had six months ago is gone. All I could think about was Wilson while I was kissing her; I mean she _could_ be Wilson with her damn personality. All fluffy and endearing…how exactly does an ass like me attract that type of person anyway? Shit, shit, shit! What am I gonna do? I need to stop thinking about Wilson: his deep brown eyes, soft silky hair, the look on his beautiful face when he's writhing underne…ARGH….STOP! Ok, time to go home and sleep. It's moments like this that I wish I had the Vicodin so I could get stoned and forget._

**TBC**

_a/n: Hope you enjoyed it and would love to know what you thought. Next part, I hope they can get a clue now that Lydia has one. Thanks for reading!!!_


	11. Chapter 10

_a/n: Ok, please pick yourselves up off the floor from shock of me posting another chapter so quickly and enjoy part 10. In this chapter, we have some Wilson/Cuddy heart to heart, some Wilson introspective, and MAYBE (I'll never tell) a special appearance by "Go get your man" Wilson attacking a certain blue eyed beauty's mouth (and no, I don't mean another nurse…think grumpier). I hope you enjoy it and thanks so much for reading!! Oh yeah, and please let me know if you liked it :)_

_Fic Paring: House/Wilson primarily. Some House/OFC and a bit of Wilson/OFC_

_Fic Warning: Slash and spoiler for season 6 premier_

_Word Count: 2500_

_Fic rating: T_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!!_

_Sequel to: "Tell Me You Will Understand"_

**Chapter 10**

He wasn't used to sleeping alone though through no choice of his own he'd been forced to lie every night in a perpetual state of sleeplessness in a cold and empty bed since the breakup. Well except for that one night with Miss Blond Thing, but he wasn't really counting that. Wilson was getting used to feeling completely exhausted in the mornings but wasn't really prepared to deal with his mood swings. He'd always been a pretty level headed guy; always willing to turn the other cheek and play happy diplomat. After all, he had plenty of training just from being House's friend for so long. When he entered the hospital however, his mood didn't get any more tolerable as he watched Cuddy approach him while he collected his messages from the day before.

"Good morning Doctor Wilson, do you have a moment?" Always the professional in front of her subordinates, Wilson thought. "Sure, what is it?" Cuddy gestured toward her office via the clinic. "Let's talk in my office." Wilson sighed and bowed his head in resignation of whatever nonsense she was going to confront him with regarding House; he was so _not_ in the mood for it.

"What's House done now?" Wilson set his brief case and coat down and took a seat in one of the visitor chairs as Cuddy made herself comfortable behind her desk.

"What makes you think it's about House?" Wilson actually smiled at that, as strained as it was. "It always is." Cuddy returned the smile. "Fair enough."

"So, what is it then?" Cuddy looked at Wilson with puzzled eyes that seemed to soften as recognition hit. "James, are you okay? You look like you haven't slept in a week. Is everything okay between you and House?" Cuddy was the only one that knew of the romantic relationship between the two men so Wilson didn't feel the need to deflect.

"He ended our relationship a couple of weeks ago." Cuddy was stunned that House would leave Wilson after he worked so hard to get him in the first place but she kept her demeanor neutral in any case.

"Does this have anything to do with the rumors going around the obstetrics' floor?" Wilson's eyes went wide in surprise but he quickly gathered his senses enough to play dumb in order to find out exactly what she knew. "What rumors?" Cuddy didn't miss Wilson's initial reaction so she figured there must be some truth to what she'd heard.

"Well, I'm told that House accompanied a pregnant woman…I believe her name was Lydia, to a sonogram appointment yesterday. Apparently it was quite obvious that House is the father of her child." _Well so much for doctor patient confidentiality_. "It sounds like you pretty much have the important parts of the story."

"So it's true then. She's pregnant with House's child?" Wilson leaned back; clearly uneasy with the whole conversation. "Seems that way. She's five or so months along and House believes it to be his, so…" Cuddy cut him off. "Five months? But he was in Mayfield five months ago."

"Yep." Cuddy got up from her chair and rounded the desk to lean against the front. It made for a better perspective apparently.

"Wilson…?"

Wilson sighed, _how on earth did I get in the middle of this?_ "Lisa, I really don't know what you want me to say. He had sex with Lydia while he was a patient in Mayfield. She showed up at his door a couple of weeks ago and announced she was pregnant. Two days after that, he left me…presumably for her. There really isn't anything else to tell."

"Wow…I..I don't know wh….was she a patient too?" Wilson admired Cuddy's attempt at hiding her true emotion about what she'd just heard. After all, part of House's hospitalization was due to his delusion regarding her. Even though she came to the realization months ago that a relationship was not in the cards for them, she assumed he still desired her early in his stay at Mayfield. It's a blow to anyone's ego he supposed…he knew it was to his.

"No, her sister in law was a patient on the same ward as House and apparently they met that way and just…connected. I don't really know the whole story and honestly, it really doesn't matter anymore. It's House's life, his decision."

There was so much more that Cuddy wanted to say regarding what she just learned. The breakdown in the institution's system, the type of person Lydia was, the idea of House being a _father. _After all, that was the primary reason in the end why she chose not to pursue House; she didn't think he'd want or _could_ be a father. She couldn't bring herself to address it any further with Wilson however; one look at him told her all she needed to know regarding how he took the news.

"Wilson, why did you let him go? He loves you."

Wilson stood up and shook his head; he tried desperately to keep his emotions in check, but his hand betrayed his agitation when it migrated to the back of his neck. "No Lisa, he _doesn't_. If he did, he wouldn't have left me for a woman he knew for all of a month before she took off with her husband without saying goodbye! I just need to move on and hope that I can at least salvage the friendship that we had before I went and slept with him like a fucking idiot!"

Cuddy did not miss the husband piece of that little rant but she let it slide for the moment. "Are you sure that he's seeing her…dating her? This just doesn't sound like something House would do."

Wilson went to grab his belongings; he needed the conversation to end. "He _implied_ it! Lisa, it's over; there's nothing I can do but move on." Wilson headed for the door but Cuddy knew there had to be more to House's motives. He wouldn't just leave Wilson to jump into another relationship with a relative stranger, pregnant or not. He's not _that_ noble; something else was going on. She moved toward the door to hold it open for her star oncologist.

"Wilson, you love him and I _know_ he loves you. Fight for him!"

"You're romanticizing Cuddy. If you'll excuse me now, I have appointments."

"Just think about what I said. I'll see you later." Wilson nodded his head, not so much in acceptance of her words, but in an attempt to get her off his back. "Yeah, see ya."

*****

Of course Wilson had lied to Cuddy. He didn't actually have any appointments until after lunch because he planned to do paperwork all morning_. I really should get my assistant to do some of this; seems like I'm always doing paperwork. _Lunch with House was just an hour away and for some reason, Wilson grew more and more nervous about the meeting with each minute that passed.

_This is absurd. We've been friends for nearly twenty years and had how many lunches together? I feel like a teenager going on his first date. Could Cuddy be right? Can House still love me? Did he ever _actually _love me or was our relationship just some experiment to him until he became bored? And how in the hell did Lydia know about our relationship? Were we that obvious? If so, then why did I go out of my way to hide it? I mean if everyone could figure out I was bi-sexual anyway, why did I even bother? Ugh…enough of this, it doesn't matter anyway! Fight for him, yeah right. What am I, some kind of knight in shining armor? I'm not _that _gay Cuddy._

Wilson spent the next hour going between his paperwork and his thoughts of House; he was so caught up in said thoughts that he didn't hear House enter his office.

"Wilson!"

Wilson's head shot up so quickly that he thought he may have given himself whiplash. "What are you doing here House?" House gave him his patented 'duh, you're such an idiot' face. "I thought we were supposed to work on becoming bestest buds again…you wanted to have lunch today, remember?"

Wilson tried to recover his senses but that stupid feeling overtook him again. He really needed to work on that because he was rubbing the back of his neck raw with that nervous habit. "Oh yeah…sorry about that."

House actually found that look on Wilson to be quite endearing. _Seriously…endearing? Man I've turned soft since my stupid breakdown. _"Well, let's go. The food isn't going to just appear if I wish really _really_ hard."

Wilson looked around uncomfortably for a moment as he considered his next thought. "Do you mind if we eat here? I actually made lunch and I um…brought enough for both of us." Wilson smiled shyly at that with his head bowed; only his eyes rose to meet House's incredulous look.

"Really? You are _such_ a girl, you know that?" House sat down in the chair across from Wilson none the less and waited to be served. Wilson visually relaxed and put the food in front of his ex-lover.

"Well, you know me; I like home cooking. And don't mock me, you like it too."

The two men ate in silence; the tension palpable in the air. House, being House could no longer take the silence so he decided on a topic of conversation that was sure to cause even more tension…if that were even possible. "So how's Nurse Bimbo? You know, the one that was half naked and draped over your arm when I came to see you? Are you still seeing her? Ya know, she doesn't really look like the type to be the fourth ex-Mrs. Wilson though. "

Wilson rolled his eyes, as much to hide his discomfort as to show his displeasure over the topic of conversation. "I really don't see how that's any of your business." House scoffed at that; playing it off as something of little interest to him. "Just curious, I mean you had her in your bed like _five_ minutes after you left mine."

_That _pissed Wilson off. "You are something else, you know that? _You_ left _me_, remember? And if you must know; no I'm not seeing her and it was two days after I was _kicked_ out of your bed!"

"Geez Jimmy, calm down there, just trying to make friendly conversation."

Wilson just shook his head and gave one of his trade mark smiles that indicated just how pissed he was. "Oh ho, really? Well then tell me, how did your date go with Lydia last night? I'm guessing you spent most of it screwing her brains out considering what I know of your previous encounters with her."

Now it was House's turn to be on the defensive. Of course defensive for House was to be snarky as hell. House stood up to exude the full effect of his bragging. "_Wow_, let me tell you. She was _so_ hot for my bod that we didn't even make it to the restaurant! Almost didn't make it to work today, she may be preggo but _woah_ was she some kind of animal." House's eyes went wide in mock disbelief and waggled his brows to add insult to injury.

Wilson rose from his chair as well to even the playing field as it were…well that is if a pissing contest between two grown men could be considered a game. Both men stood inches apart; daring the other without words to push the match just a little bit farther. At that point, a thought popped into Wilson's head; a thought that strangely had the voice of Cuddy attached to it…_weird_. _Fight for him_. The younger man chuckled to himself; _I guess I am that gay_.

Before he could talk himself out of how stupid of an idea it might be, Wilson spun House around abruptly and pushed him forcefully against the door. House's leg began to buckle but Wilson anticipated that and held him up by placing himself firmly against House's body. House was stunned into inaction and Wilson took the rare opportunity to attack House's mouth.

"_Hmph_…Wils…"

"Shut up."

Wilson forced his tongue past House's lips and kissed him with all of the emotion that had built up over the course of two agonizing weeks. A heart filled with unbearable sadness, with hurt, longing, deceit, and betrayal. As he felt House start to kiss him back, his thoughts changed to twenty years of friendship; of stolen lunches, monster trucks. And finally to four months of passion, lust….of _love_.

The two men separated; foreheads pressed together, eyes downcast as both drew in long draughts of breath. The air around them mingled together as if they were one.

"I…gotta go. Patient…case, kiddies waiting for me...." Wilson backed away slowly to give House enough room to pull himself together before opening the door. As House turned to do just that, Wilson pulled himself back into the moment.

"House…?" The unspoken question hung between them like a lead balloon.

"I don't know. Wilson, I…don't know." Without another word, House left the younger man's office.

_I don't know is better than no…isn't it?_

**TBC**

_a/n: I figured it was time for them to start to get a clue. Now that they're at least heading in the right direction, I will be starting to address the pesky problem that was prominent in the prequel and the beginning of this story before Lydia sidetracked them: Wilson's inability to openly accept his own sexuality. It was touched on in his thoughts a bit in this chapter and going forward will be addressed more. Lydia will play a part in this somewhat and of course, there's the whole baby thing to work out. Not to mention, I think the boys may be getting a bit horney so my job now is to get them to where they can have really hot and sweaty smex, and your job is to tell me what you thought. So, go forth my friends and comment! Thanks so much for reading._


	12. Chapter 10 and half Smut Break

_a/n: So this chapter is going to be a little different. Basically there'll be some plot movement on House's part (but not much). I wanted to take a smut break for Valentine's Day but wasn't far enough into their reconciliation yet to make it warranted so I'm pulling a David Shore (no hallucinations). I won't try to explain more, I'll just let you read it. Also, for anyone not following the story, you could probably read this as a pointless smut one shot. I really hope you enjoy it!_

_Pairing: House/Wilson _

_Chapter rating: **NC-17 (M)**, overall fic-pg-13 **Rating change for this chapter**_

_Warnings: slash, bottom!House_

_Sequel to: "Tell Me You Will Understand"_

_Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!_

**Chapter 10 ½-Smut Break-Happy Valentine's Day!**

Everyone in House's path knew to stay the hell out his way. For some reason the grumpy doctor had been exceptionally foul since leaving Wilson's office that afternoon. The case was at a standstill but she was stable none the less, so House had sent the ducklings home just to get them out of his hair. House, on the other hand decided to stay at the hospital in case the patient took a turn, but more so because his mind was reeling over what happened earlier in the day: he needed the damn distraction!

House found himself sitting in his darkened office, only the shining of the evening moon to light the room.

_What the hell was he thinking? Kissing me like that. He's got some damn nerve, assuming that I would just roll with it. I told the idiot it was over; can't he get it through his thick moronic skull? Though the way he looked: his eyes dark with lust, his breath sweet and spicy from the delicious lunch he made…for both of us. The way his body felt against mine when he pushed me against the door…Fuck! What the hell Wilson? It's over, I told you it's over! God, he had that look in his eyes like he did the first time I told him to fuck me. That look is so hot…so damn sexy. Damn it Wilson, it's not supposed to be this hard…pun intended, I make myself laugh sometimes. See that's the problem; I'm just tired, just silly and tired. Did I really just call myself silly? That's it, I need sleep! I suppose my chair is a good of place as any. Damn, he looked so hot the first time he fucked me and again when he kissed me in his office today…damn you Wils….._

_"Mphh_, Wils'n….easy there, you're gonna break something." They had only made into the door of House's apartment when Wilson; who had an exceptionally trying day, attacked House before he could even shed his jacket. "Don't be a baby House, you love it and you know it."

Wilson pushed House up against the desk with more force than was probably necessary but damn it, he had a bad day and he was horny as hell. House groaned his approval when Wilson cupped his groin roughly through dampened Jeans. A mischievous smile spread across Wilson's face…"Feels like someone likes this." House would never admit it out loud but he loved the younger man in this state of arousal; all cocky and confident…and smug as hell. "Yeah, well get on with it, my cock isn't going to take care of itself." Wilson's reply to that was to crash their lips together with as much hunger and passion as he could muster up. House wrapped his arms around Wilson's back and pulled his lover flush against his body. There was something different about Wilson tonight; something primal. House decided that this would be the night. They'd been seeing each other for a few weeks and have explored many different outlets of sexual desire. Wilson, though uncomfortable with his own sexuality, took to bottoming quite well and really seemed to enjoy House claiming him as his own. To House's surprise however, the younger man was very reluctant to top, which House found very puzzling in deed.

Wilson forced his tongue into House's mouth while grinding his erection against his lover's. House felt the blood in his body run south and a wave of dizziness over took him. He broke away from the kiss, breathless and overcome by pure desire. One look into Wilson's eyes was all it took; two deep, silky pools of flowing brown…almost black with lust; lips swollen from the force of his ministrations…that look made House want to be taken by the man before him more than anything else.

"Fuck me." Wilson stopped all of his actions and looked at House with big, panicked eyes. "W-what…?"

"I said _Fuck_ me! I want you to fuck me tonight." The younger man actually took a few steps back and shook his head. "I, I've never done that before. I don't know that I'm ready."

House pulled on Wilson's hand and led him to the bedroom, once there, he pulled off his coat and t-shirt before making way on Wilson's own garments. "Chill out Jimmy, you've had sex with women, it's not a whole lot different. What are you so afraid of anyway?"

"You'll just mock me if I give you the reason." The look on Wilson's face was one of a timid little boy afraid of disappointing a parent. House couldn't help but allow his heart to soften just a bit at that, but no way in hell was he going to admit it. "I'll always mock you, it's what I do. Come on, just tell me, it can't seriously be that bad." Wilson looked down for a moment and when he spoke it barely reached House's ears. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you." House knew he shouldn't laugh but he just couldn't help himself. "Are you serious? Wilson, you know I've done this before, right?"

"Sure just laugh it up. And yes I know that you've been with other men...well I mean I know you've been with Crandall." House turned serious at the look that crossed Wilson's face. "It's not the fear of you hurting me is it? What could be more embarrassing to you that you'd say something idiotic like that instead." Wilson stumbled on his words. "S-sure it is, what else w-would it be?" House stepped in to Wilson's personal space and pulled his friend toward him. House couldn't help to be a snarky ass but he also knew when to be serious. He kissed a line down Wilson's neck starting from the sensitive spot behind the younger man's ear; that sent shivers down Wilson's spine and a sultry moan escaped his lips against his will.

"You're afraid you'll embarrass yourself; that I won't enjoy you fucking me. That's it, isn't it?" Wilson started at what was said to him but didn't pull away from the glorious things those rough, beautiful lips were doing to him. Wilson thought about denying the accusation but with his brain currently not functioning fully, he just went with the truth. "You're not some naive girl I picked up that I can seduce...you're _House_, my best friend. I don't want to make a fool of myself with you."

House cupped Wilson's face with both hands and spoke so closely to Wilson that the younger man could feel their lips brush with each word. "You are sexy as hell and have been a fantastic sexual partner so far, I can't _imagine_ anything that you could do to me that would embarrass you. Now Jimmy, .. Fuck me!" Wilson was mesmerized by the startling blue eyes that stared deep into his soul. He couldn't resist the older man anymore even if he tried. "O-okay."

House took a few steps back and sat on the bed, pulling Wilson in between his legs in the process. He finished undressing Wilson slowly, seductively while teasing the soft, baby smooth chest that was right in front of his face. "_God_ you're beautiful." Wilson recovered from his mini breakdown relatively fast and pushed House back on to the bed to strip the older man of his clothes. He grabbed House's aching erection and gave a few languid strokes; just enough to drive his friend insane. "Ugh..._Wilson_...fuck. Don't be a dick tease." Wilson didn't show him any mercy, he kept up the slow, agonizing pace until House was writhing like a fish out of water under his touch. "You are so hot like this, you know that?"

"Damn it Wilson, Fuck me _now_!" Wilson chuckled but repositioned House on the bed before grabbing the lube from the bedside drawer. "Patience my dear Greg."

"Oh my God Wilson, shut _up_ and get on with it!" Wilson swallowed the last of his lingering misplaced fear and placed his slicked fingers in between House's legs. "As you wish my sire." Wilson positioned himself along side his lover and began a series of slow, delicate, chaste kisses as he pushed his first finger into House. _"Hmph..." _House moved his lips faster and harder against Wilson's until they were all but fighting one another with their tongues; needing the extra contact but never seeming to get enough. Wilson slipped a second finger in as he moved his mouth to forcefully suck and nip at any skin he could reach. Both men were already panting and sweating heavily and they hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet. Finally Wilson's third finger went in effortlessly and only took a moment to finish preparing House for his entry.

"You ready?" House rolled his eyes but lifted his head after to kiss the weary man's mouth passionately. "I was ready two weeks ago."

Without another word, Wilson settled himself between House's legs and positioned his leaking erection just outside of his lover's body. "Do it Jimmy, I want you." That was all the encouragement Wilson needed and he pushed forward, breaching the outer ring. "_Ah God_, you feel so fucking good."

"I-I told you, you'd like it." Wilson eased his way in until he was flush against House's ass. Both men panted with the sheer exertion of trying not to come too soon. After a moment, House bucked up under Wilson to make it clear to get a move on, Wilson started slowly as to catalogue the sounds that came out of his lover's mouth with each stroke. Once the younger man felt comfortable with what he was doing, he picked up his pace and struck House's sweet spot every few strokes. Within minutes, Wilson found himself pistoning at a furious rate into House's willing body; feeling himself on the verge of coming hard. A glorious ache started at the base of Wilson's spine and travelled the full length of his body until he exploded; white hot sparks exploding behind his eyes, pushing him farther than he'd ever felt; his orgasm stronger than any he could remember. "Argh..._House_...fuck." Even after his erection began to fade, he still kept his hips moving, probably without really thinking about it. He realized he placed his hand between himself and House and began to stroke his lover. It didn't take long for Wilson to feel House's release bathing him. Both men were panting and coming down from their post orgasmic highs... "Well, did I embarrass myself." House thought of going snarky just to get a rise out of Wilson but thought better of it he ever planned on getting fucked again. "I'd say, you were _amazing_." Wilson bent his head down to capture House's lips in lazy soft kisses. "I really do love you House....House, did you fall asleep? House...?"

"_House...?"_

House startled awake at the sound of a very annoying high pitched voice. "House...for God's sake, _wake_ up." House looked up to see himself still lying in his eames chair with Cuddy standing over him. "What the hell do you want woman, I was in the middle of a fantastic dream." Cuddy gave him a knowing smirk as she glanced between his crotch and his face. House hadn't realized that he woke up with an erection, but thanks to Cuddy, he knew now. "You know if you'd stop being a big fat jerk you could go and home and have the real thing with Wilson." If House actually were one to blush, he would be blushing now. "Tell me again why Wilson felt the need to tell you, of all people about us?" Cuddy turned to leave but said over her shoulder, "Stop being an ass and go screw Wilson."

House fell asleep angry at Wilson for his little display earlier but woke up longing to be touched by him...to be loved by him. Was leaving Wilson the right thing to do after all?

"Shit, what the hell do I do now? Well other than go jerk off in the bathroom."

**TBC**

_a/n: Well there is your Valentine's smut break, it was written rather quickly and I neglected other responsibilities because I really wanted to post it today for Valentine's Day, so please be kind and leave me a comment. Thanks so much for reading and I really hope you enjoyed it!_


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